In Retrospect

Despite anything else I have to admit, She did make my dreams come true. I don't regret one thing she did with or for me, even itf it was lying or being honest or trying to hurt me to get me to leave her alone.

She gave me a smile that I can't remove or redesign.

I keep thinking "Maybe I'm just in her way; maybe I am just interfering with her own chance to be lusty and brilliant, and maybe I'm just a bore to her. I'm not good enough, and never was. Maybe I was too limp & she had to fake her way through my relationship."

Too many maybe ...

And yet, for that alone I'll always love her no matter what; she comes back or she stays where she's at, there's always gonna be a candle in my heart for her.

Maybe she'll look for me again, or maybe she'll keep ignoring me.

I had hopes: one day I'd leave Texas and we'd settle between both our families.

Thus we could visit at our leisure and they could come to us as we grow as a family.

(Ha ha!)

I even had names picked out for our children.

But we'll wait & see what happens.

Adios,

Julian