Thursday, November 5, 2009
Remembrance
In the laundromat’s din
I recall my favorite sin
sigh and fall into my trance
of my remembrance
It feels like a dream
That woman so bright
I loved her too much
I wanted that wife
But it was doomed all along
We’re too far apart
We couldn’t hope for a song
The life we’d never start
She said good-bye as I
were nothing
She’s moved on fast
Onto another fling
I don’t even ring
I don’t even write
She had a new thing
She has a new life
Does she look at her laptop
wondering about me?
Or does she make her coffee,
and love another and flee?
I hate haunting her
though I miss her so
I’m trying to be good
I’m trying to let go.
The coffee is sweet
the memory is bitter
I wish she’d find me
I’d never release her.
But that’s not my lot
I wish her the best
I hope she’s behaving
I won’t go out west
In the dark of night
loving someone else
It’s her voice I hear
as clear as a bell.
I’m always remembered,
never forgotten.
I wish she’d want me
even though I am rotten
We planned for so much
future fantasies and dreams.
All that dissipated
like coffee and creams.
I wish she’d say I love you once again
I’d accept it no matter the pain
Should she ever see this
It’s my honest truth:
I love you now, a remembrance, and an absolute.
Just a few thoughts ...
I Just Want To Lay Next To You
For Awhile
You Look So Beautiful Tonight
Your Eyes Are So Lovely
Your Mouth Is So Sweet
A Lot Of People
Misunderstand Me
That's Because They Don't
Know Me At All
I Just Want To Touch You
And Hold You
I Need You
God I Need You
I Love You So Much
[Michael]
Each Time The Wind Blows
I Hear Your Voice So
I Call Your Name . . .
Whispers At Morning
Our Love Is Dawning
Heaven's Glad You Came . . .
You Know How I Feel
This Thing Can't Go Wrong
I'm So Proud To Say
I Love You
Your Love's Got Me High
I Long To Get By
This Time Is Forever
Love Is The Answer
[Siedah]
I Hear Your Voice Now
You Are My Choice Now
The Love You Bring
Heaven's In My Heart
At Your Call
I Hear Harps,
And Angels Sing
You Know How I Feel
This Thing Can't Go Wrong
I Can't Live My Life
Without You
[Michael]
I Just Can't Hold On
[Siedah]
I Feel We Belong
[Michael]
My Life Ain't Worth Living
If I Can't Be With You
[Both]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
And If I Stop . . .
Then Tell Me Just What
Will I Do
[Siedah]
'Cause I Just Can't Stop
Loving You
[Michael]
At Night When The
Stars Shine
I Pray In You I'll Find
A Love So True . . .
[Siedah]
When Morning Awakes Me
Will You Come And Take Me
I'll Wait For You
[Michael]
You Know How I Feel
I Won't Stop Until
I Hear Your Voice Saying
"I Do"
[Siedah]
"I Do"
This Thing Can't Go Wrong
[Michael]
This Feeling's So Strong
[Siedah]
Well, My Life Ain't
Worth Living
[Both]
If I Can't Be With You
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
And If I Stop . . .
Then Tell Me, Just What
Will I Do
[Michael]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
[Siedah]
We Can Change All The World
Tomorrow
[Michael]
We Can Sing Songs Of
Yesterday
[Siedah]
I Can Say, Hey . . .Farewell
To Sorrow
[Michael]
This Is My Life And I,
[Both]
Want To See You For Always
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
[Siedah]
No, Baby
[Michael]
Oh!
[Both]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
[Siedah]
If I Can't Stop!
[Both]
And If I Stop . . .
[Siedah]
No
[Michael]
Oh! Oh! Oh . . .Oh . . .
[Siedah]
What Will I Do? Uh . . .Ooh . . .
(Then Tell Me, Just What
Will I Do)
[Both]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
[Michael]
Hee! Hee! Hee! Know I Do
Girl!
[Both]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
[Michael]
You Know I Do
And If I Stop . . .
[Both]
Then Tell Me, Just What
Will I Do
[Both]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You
http://www.elyrics.net/read/m/michael-jackson-lyrics/i-just-can_t-stop-loving-you-lyrics.html
-----------
THE STYLISTICS lyrics - You Make Me Feel Brand New
My love, I'll never find the words, my love
To tell you how I feel, my love
Mere words, could not explain
Precious love, you held my life within your hands
Created everything I am
Taught me how to live again
Only you came when I needed a friend
Believed in me through thick and thin
This song is for you
Filled with graditude and love
God bless you
You make me feel brand new
For God bless me with you
You make me feel brand new
I sing this song 'cause you
Make me feel brand new
My love, when ever I was insecure
You built me up and made me sure
You gave, my pride, back to me
Precious friend, with you I'll always have a friend
You're someone who I can depend
To walk a path that sometimes bends
Without you, life has no meaning or rhyme
Like notes to a song out of time
How can I repay
You for havin' faith in me
God bless you
You made me feel brand new
For God bless me with you
You made me feel brand new
I sing this song for you
http://www.oldielyrics.com/lyrics/the_stylistics/you_make_me_feel_brand_new.html
---------
GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa :
half discovered, half wild,fertile and naturally beautiful.
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe :
well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain :
very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece :
gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain :
with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel :
has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice,
takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada :
self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet :
wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past
and the wisdom of the ages,
an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 90,
a man is like Iran,
ruled by nuts.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
What Do I Want
A friend asked me what I want in life, and I have been thinking about it for some time now. It’s not easy to make a list of factors, thoughts, and ideas that you’d like to either solidify or realize as your limits or goals per se. I don’t think I ever wanted anything tangible in all honesty. But I’ve been on the good & bad side of a relationship and I know what I’d like from a partner, lover and friend.
So let’s begin:
- · Honesty: I want to tell them the things I like such as my penchant for age-play, role-play, costuming and the like. I don’t want to be caught doing something that is repugnant to them.
- · Communication: I’d love to discuss the factors in having an orgy, or not having an orgy. Any fantasy, desire or thought is open to discussion, such as whom to and not to bring into a threesome, where we’re going for vacation, or why that mass or concert sucked so badly.
- · Warmth: I want this person to be the first and last thought I ever have in my head, even when I wake up or slip asleep next to them. I want them wanting me just as much.
- · Caring: PDA’s would not be something held back in any way.
- · A Family: This person should be willing to bear my children. They should also want to have children, not find them an obligation of age or anything as trivial as a biological clock.
- · Acceptance: I want to know that if I have a hedonistic moment of lust I won’t be discarded, mainly because the person I love thinks with their genitals also, and may slip from time to time.
- · A Mind: I want to talk about movies, my thoughts, my life, fantasies, write, read and still have moments of absolute peace and quiet that are the bonding of our lives.
- · A Soul: this person should care for me as much as I care for her; limitlessly, endlessly, and never feel as if they have to submit to me. Granted, I’d like a submissive in my life but walking beside me, always knowing who she belongs to, and what I really want of her in my life.
- · Beauty: That’s Inner as well as Outer beauty. I don’t have that yet so I have to keep working at it a little longer. But I do like myself naked more so than I did a few years ago so that in itself is a plus!
- · Talent: This person should be willing to paint, to play musical instruments, celebrate life, dance and drop everything at the drop of a hat to run off on an adventure.
- · Fearlessness: I want to ride the roller coaster, play paintball games, and run around strange woods camping in new places, hoping to learn more about myself and what I like and want for myself.
- · Unafraid: This isn’t the same as fearless because I want someone who’s going to share what’s inside themselves so they can have a satisfying, rich life also; I don’t think I’d like being serviced 24/7, but I could be wrong. I want them smiling as much as I would smile.
In some circles I am just a writer and artist, and in other places I am a Daddy-Dom meaning I like ‘schoolgirls’ and the roles they play in satisfying a age-play fantasy. In some places I am a wicked man, in others a loving, generous man. All I want to know is that someone will see all these facets accept, and polish and enjoy them as much as I enjoy being each and every one of these people.
One woman recently embodied all those things and so much more, but she chose another life and I must move forward, making myself smile, seeking the pleasure of the new days, and hoping for the best. What will happen or where it will take me is another story.
Onward.
Blessings,
Julian
Monday, October 19, 2009
Starr Search - A Little Background









Sunday, October 18, 2009
Starr Search - Chapters 01 - 03
Starr Search – Chapter 01
He waited in the in the cell phone parking spot, sipping his coffee, shivering in anticipation, hoping for the phone to ring soon. His eyes were alert to the shifting traffic, the variables of arriving and departing planes, and counting the minutes until her arrival. Dark brown eyes scanned the other cars, his arms restless in the blue blazer and knit shirt, watching patiently, even picking up the phone to see if it still had a signal. The backlight of the screen showed him her smile, and that he could be reached when she called. She was oval on the caller ID, long black hair in a wavy flourish of wild locks, curls cascading all over, her eyes big and bright, the smile surrounded with shimmering glossy lipstick.
Beep-Bleep.
The phone went off, and he answered quickly, not wanting to miss this moment. “Hello?”
“You know”, the voice purred, “I am waiting for a car to get me from my arrival gate.”
“Hi Starr. Two minutes. Bye.”
Hurrying through the lots, Julian found himself pulling up, watching people coming out of the building, luggage in hand, peering deeply for her. And with a parting of a crowd, there she was: statuesque, slender, but with the curves of a woman, young in her smile and the light of her eyes, but dying inside to escape the east and live the adventures of a yearning hedonist going west should learn. Nothing was or could be taboo to this gorgeous woman in her tight miniskirt, her short, high-heeled boots, and the snug t-shirt that showed her marvelous C-cup breast arching up at the moonlight of the California night air. Several men moved about her, young, in the service, grotesquely fit physically, but instead she came 1700 miles from the Bible belt to Sodom itself in search of her friend, her cyber-lover, her 42-year old pervert.
A wave of recognition came from her hand and she shouted as his car pulled up at the curb: “Julian!”
Gears shifted, and he parked idling, jumping from the seat, snapping the power locks, calling out to her: “Starr! Over here babe! Toss everything in the back seat.”
Within a second, she sat in the back seat, smiling softly, her luggage on the seat next to her. She leaned over the center of the front seats, kissing his cheek as he resumed his position, locking the doors as they enclosed themselves. His car quickly pulled out, slipping into the stream of cars exiting the airport and heading into the center of Los Angeles. Starr relaxed, her arms on the backrest, laying her head back, watching Julian as he eyed the traffic before moving from lane to lane, then smiling into the rear-view mirror at her potential lover and on-line friend.
They had been on the road for ten minutes when she began to shift like a cricket in the grass, watching her driver watching her in the mirror. Her knee came up and she smiled again, looking into his eyes, saying, “Julian? Do you know I flew across the country without panties?”
Julian gulped, glancing back, watching both knees rise, and Starr gracefully reaching down, touching the smooth darkness, her fingers disappearing under the folds of her skirt, moaning gently. “When I switched planes at Little Rock, I saw the nice agent from the TSA watching me, complimenting me on the smooth material of my skirt.”
Starr moaned, and Julian began to feel a bead of sweat on his upper lip, his eyes moving quickly between the show in the back seat and the road ahead, watching the cars moving, wondering if anyone could see her masturbating.
Or was she teasing him?
“The TSA agent told me with a smile he may have to have me screened. I told him he could do a strip search if he was a good boy. And, only if he brought his cuffs with him into the room.”
“Wow”, Julian exhaled. “So, did you get him inside you?”
“No, but the possibility was there so I smiled, teased him, and made sure to swing my ass as I walked away. I know that he, and maybe a few others were staring.”
A gasp and Julian noticed her hands were below the sight of the seat, her head lolling back on the armrest. Suddenly, he spotted a toe pointing up at him. And in the confined space, the musky smell of woman’s juices could be inhaled. Starr shivered and moaned, her driver unable to see what she was doing as she moaned, soft purring escaping as the elbows moved with the unseen machinations of a masturbating woman. He could hear the reactions she made, touching her clitty, perhaps fingering herself, moaning aloud now, shaking her leg, watching his eyes frantically moving between traffic and her exhibitionism.
“Are you sure you can watch me Julian? I told you I want to do so much this weekend.”
Clenching his teeth, Julian smiled, and then breathed out his answer: “Yes Starr. I may not participate often but I will watch intently.”
A smile crossed her lips and she groaned louder, moving her arms faster, Julian assuming she was rubbing her clitty as fast as possible with one hand and fingering herself with two or three fingers of the other. She closed her eyes, the lights above them making her cinnamon skin pale then dark between passes on the road. Julian kept hoping that they wouldn’t be pulled over or be seen in a traffic stop camera, or by someone in a truck who may follow them as Starr reached her zenith.
A loud gasp, and Starr cried out, “OOooohhh damnit!! OOOOOoohhh SHIT!!”
The orgasm slammed against the windows, making the panes move, or so Julian thought as she reached a powerful, body shaking orgasm in is backseat while in a public lane of traffic. As she calmed herself, Julian kept eyeing the speed, the surrounding cars, and moved deeper into the night. Starr reached back, sitting (possibly) in a puddle of her own juices. She leaned forward, kissing Julian on the ear and whispered, “Open wide for a treat.”
He did so, and found his mouth filled with two of her fingers, salty and delicious with her sweet sexual honey, wet from her orgasm. Julian swabbed, licked and slurped every drop of girl-cum off them, making her nails dry as the fingers left his lips.
Starr Search – Chapter 02
Julian pulled the sedan into the hotel, watching her asscheeks shift slowly under the tight skirt, moving like a metronome. She could feel the eyes of the valet, the bellman, and the concierge, all staring at the miniskirt, long legs, and perfectly nestled 36-C breast nestled in the tight t-shirt, the top tied under her breast to show off the amazing stomach. Starr knew she could make every man forget, and loved the attention. Julian walked beside, never taking her hand, knowing inside she possessed him, not the other way around. They turned, and the valet, doormen, concierge, bellmen, a few tourists with their wives, and the half-blind janitor all turned, watching Starr and Julian make their way to the elevator and inside it.
Opening the door, Julian tossed the bags on the floor, watching Starr walk into the room, laying back on the couch, flipping on the big-screen television. She was moving through the channels sliding her heels to the floor until she found some music. Her body wiggled to the beat, slowly sliding the blouse off her body, then slipping the skirt down her asscheeks and off her long, perfect legs.
His mouth hit the floor: Starr travelled across the country without panties, waxed her pussy hairs into a small landing strip and left her bra behind somewhere. Her blazer was on the floor; this was how she kept her hardened nipples from being a beacon to every man in every terminal she entered across the United States.
Sitting naked, playing with her nipples, she stared at the chaperon, watching his eyes drink in every inch of her café au lait skin, honey-kissed by the sun and a shade darker than his own Latino heritage. She could smile, knowing he was going to be her guardian angel in her depraved travels through Los Angeles.
“Julian”, she whispered, eyes closing as she pinched one of her nipples slowly, twisting it in manicured nails, “are you sure you can keep me safe? Are you sure you don’t want to spend the weekend here just making love to me?”
A beat of quiet and he smiled.
“Or fucking you, Starr?”
He blushed, unsure of using this word with his cyber-lover and friend. A glance, and he knew she wasn’t teasing him, just asking, and unharmed by his phrase; she, in turn was just being honest and seeking the same.
She smiled, happily knowing they were on the same wave-length: “Or fucking me, in bed, on the floor, in the bathroom … wherever your hard-ons' wish.”
She lay back, curling her legs against her breast, showing him the heels of her feet pointing outward, smiling, letting her arms wrap around her knees. His eyes glanced down seeing the tender slip of her pussy lips, pink and glossy with the desire of lust, wanting to touch him or to be touched. Julian looked further, seeing her puckered bung, the anus winking at him. Starr noticed his eyes staring at her anus, and restated aloud, “Any where your hard-on wishes.”
Slowly, Julian moved closer to her, sitting down, taking her feet in his hands, massaging the soles, stroking them from toes to heel, making her moan. Starr relaxed, knowing she ached for an erotic journey, and yet, just having a man appreciate her for more than sex was something she longed for also in this moment.
“Honey”, Julian said softly. “You can do anything you want, be anything you want, and I’ll always be in the shadows keeping you safe. I promised you that when we chatted, had cyber-sex, avatar-sex, phone sex, and cam-sex. And I still promise to keep you safe no matter what you want to do here in LA. Okay?”
Lightly, but with just the right amount of pressure, Julian slid his finger along the length of her foot, pressing inward, making her moan softly. Starr relaxed, naked in her youth and beauty, as this man twice her age and sweet on-line was the real deal, hoping to give her a weekend she’d never forget.
She could feel his fingers kneading her muscles, caressing and stroking the calves, moving the length of her skin slowly, softly and tenderly. She felt her eyes closing, relaxed in the luxurious room, breathing faster, her breast rising and falling slowly, feeling the hands moving to the front of her legs, caressing the knees and muscles gently.
But something was different.
Julian slid his body from beneath her legs, his hands lifting her delicate feet over his shoulders, sliding them back and down along the spine. His fingers continued caressing and touching her all over, making her whimper and moan eagerly, gasping, her eyes quickly closing. She could feel her fingers sliding into his hair as she felt his kisses starting inside her thighs, licking the skin, moving slowly into her crotch. A small stream of air slid out of his mouth, touching her clit and traveling along the slick folds of her pussy lips. Julian kissed, and then circled the clit with his tongue, lapping at it gently. She moaned, digging her nails deeper into his scalp, feeling his tongue slide inside her pussy, his nose nestled on the hairs, kissing the clitty again and again, sucking softly on the shaved labia. The tongue worked magically inside her body, making her shudder with delight.
“Mmmm. Such a tasty pussy babe”, he whispered. “I’m glad you played with it making it juicy for me.”
Starr moaned at the cunninglingus performed by a master twat eater, like Bach on the violin in the hands of a symphony maestro. She groaned, feeling a finger slipping into her hot, wet pussy, keeping Julian where he wanted to be: on her knees eating her out.
The finger, then fingers, began pumping rapidly, making a slap-slap sound inside her. Starr could feel the juices of her girly-sex leaking pussy juices like mad, gasping aloud, her body an electrical fence, losing her mind as he continued eating and licking and fingering her sweet, smooth twat as fast as possible. Her nipples became harder without contact, gasping, losing her breath to the shaking her body was doing responding to his touch.
“Oh fuck Julian. You are a fantastic pussy licker!”
He replied, “This is one thing I love doing: pleasing you.”
As his sentence ended, he continued licking the hot, wet sex box, fingering it deeper, swirling the clitty hard against his spinning tongue, sucking all the juices her could draw out down his throat and into his mouth. Starr started tugging his hair, keeping him in place, making his scalp hurt, and still keeping him against her hot, wet cunt, the sex-honey slipping out a little faster each time the pace increased, his mouth working harder to drink every drop.
“OOOooohhh FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCKK!!”
Starr moaned, groaning, grinding her teeth, gasping and trying to hold her breath as her orgasm tore through her body, Julian’s fingers planted deep inside the hot wet snatch. She groaned louder, crying out, screaming in absolute delight and pleasure.
“Goddamn! OOoooooooooooooooohhhhhh!”
The waves of pleasure finally subsided, and Julian could feel her body collapsing, deflating on the couch. Her legs were limp and she glowed, sheen of fresh perspiration on her forehead and cheeks. She looked down at her adoring lover, and took his face in her hands. Julian came up with the touch, bringing his body between her legs, kissing her mouth deep and full, and letting her taste herself on his tongue, making her whimper and moan. Her mouth roamed all over his face, licking every drop, sucking his tongue, wanting every drop her body produced between both their mouths.
She smiled, whispering, “We’re gonna be so bad aren’t we?”
“Yes we are”, he replied. “Yes we are.”
Starr Search – Chapter 03
She smiled, hugging her breast closer to her body. Starr stared at Julian, her eyes agog with the delights of a woman coming down from an obscene physical and emotional high. Her body was covered in goose bumps, the scent of musk hanging in the room. Julian’s face was slightly glazed, his smiled from ear to ear, licking his lips and slobbering over all the pussy juices Starr gushed out when she came all three times. She sat up, looking down at her lover kneeling on the floor, and gently, slowly stroked his face.
“Follow me hon.” she whispered tenderly. “I want to make you smile too.”
Afraid to speak, to break the spell, Julian stood quietly as his naked lover slid her delicate feet onto the floor, walking and taking his hand in hers’, leading them to the bathroom. Starr turned, tiptoed and kissed him once more on the lips, tasting the remnants of her sweet snatch sauce, smiling as he caressed her hips, feeling the wonderful shape of the woman in his presence.
Entering, the gorgeous young woman sat down on the covered toilet seat, her ass nestling into the plush cover. Her tiny hands dove into the buckle, undoing the belt, moving it from his waist and off his body. Her fingers undid the snaps of his jeans, and slowly, gazing deep into his eyes, she opened his shirt, button by button, seeing that he never took his eyes from her light-cocoa colored skin, the wonderfully round sloping breast, the amazing sweet figure of her body already naked before his own in the spacious bathroom of the luxury hotel.
Kneeling, the gorgeous woman slid down his jeans, over his ankle, and undid his shoes, kissing his thighs and stomach along the way to being before him on her knees. Julian could feel the anticipation of touching her again, her hair stroking his stomach and her breast, his knees and her face, his body and her fingers.
He was under her spell, and loved it.
Julian gulped, and found that as his eyes opened, he realized he was nude. Somehow, Starr had him step out of his clothing, and he watched her bending over, ass out, adjusting the shower, letting the water pours down into the tub. A graceful little hop and she was under the cascading water, feeling her own skin, moaning suggestively as the droplets came over her little by little in the shower.
All he could do was stare at her sexy silhouette. Stare and feel his hard-on moving like an anaconda in the trees, with a mind and life of its own. She was soaping her breast, caressing them, feeling her own pussy with a long, dedicated finger, touching the clit and making a soft noise from behind the transparent shower curtain.
“MMmmmm”, she moaned over the hissing steam of the hot shower. “Julian, even with the water I feel so sensitive. You ate my pussy so damn well, I may not need to find another woman.”
Through the curtain, Julian could see she was now fingering the pussy deeper, her hand moving back and forth.
“Oh babe”, she gasped, moaning like a banshee preparing to swoop down on its’ victim, “you’ve gotta get in here, or I may cum again.”
A step, and Julian slid into the tub, closing the shower curtain, watching her masturbate, penetrating her own smooth cunt with her fingers again and again. The finger fucking was rhythmic, a pumping beat as her fingers slid in and out, again and again, the shower water hitting Julian in the back. He watched her eyes close, knowing her voyeur and guardian was going to take in every action he could imagine with her all weekend long.
Starr loved being watched, knowing he was enjoying all she had to give him, and wanting to see more with each turn of her body. She moved, spinning away, ass out, back bent, fingering her pussy deeper, moaning louder, gasping and groaning in total delight. He watched the arch of her spine bend back, showing the moons of her delectable ass-cheeks, the slippery anus wet and coated with water beading down between her legs and past the back of her thigh and down to her ankles.
Julian came up behind her, placing the tip of his cock into the folds of her pink lips, slipping slowly inside her wet snatch, fucking her with one stroke. Starr gasped, a loud moan escaping her mouth as she grasped the shower bar, holding it tight, feeling Julian’s’ hands on her hips.
“Ohhhhhhhhh baby … yessss”, Starr hissed, responding to his touch, his cock slowly, deliberately entering her needy slick pussy. “Don’t stop!”
Julian slipped his cock half-way inside, enjoying the enveloping feeling as she pushed back, fucking him in response to his fingers on her hips, his cock in her buttery cunt, his moans filling the shower stall.
Strong, tight fingers gripped her skin, sinking into the soft flesh of her hips, making her moan in delight, feeling the heated beads of water dribbling down her skin, dropping from her lover behind her and onto her spine. Starr gasped, feeling the cockhead slowly touching then entering her body again; his cock rode the smooth, wet pussy, fucking its’ way further inside her body. Julian could feel the purchase his thick man-meat made inside her, the wet velvet of her tight cunt gripping his prick, making him shiver in delight, gasping, before plunging harder, faster inside the sweet tight cunt.
“OH Goddamn Starr! FUCK!” Julian moaned aloud in absolute pleasure, groaning, sinking himself deeper inside her amazing hot body, his hairy balls nestled against the hot bald snatch lips. The steam of the shower made him shake his eyes; his most vivid hallucinations and fantasies had become real, and he was fucking the young, sexy woman in the hotel shower. He smiled happily, pumping his cock faster, deeper inside the smooth wet cunt, fucking her with all he could muster.
Starr replied, “Hmmmm, baby. Ohhhh you’re so fucking BIG!”
“JEEZUS BABE! FUCK!” Julian couldn’t contain the wicked utterances streaming from his mouth, his appreciation for her desire and allowing him to fuck her, and her need to do it immediately. Starr kept gripping the shower bar, holding on, feeling her perverted older lover fucking his way deeper inside her young body with every ounce of strength he had. His legs moved, the cock riding deeper into her body, his feet clenching the floor, holding on with his hands and the flexing muscles, for dear life. “Fuck! Fuck Fuck FUCKKK!”
She wiggled back, taking him deeper than before, fucking faster, rolling her sweet ass on his stomach, feeling his balls slapping her clitty. She moved her fingers, stroking the active, sensitive clitty, feeling his shaved testicles against her fingernails, moaning in delight, water cascading over them like rolling rapids. But this was a much more exciting ride for the young woman from the East Coast. Starr could feel Julian opening her asscheeks, watching with fascination, or just to grip her steadily, her asshole opened, accepting water pouring down and entering her rectum. She gasped, her tits bouncing like mad, eyes fluttering in absolute pleasure.
Starr couldn’t believe the man behind her, fucking her in absolute abandon, was the man she’d met on a social network on-line. She was amazed he was so very sane, patient, and aching to make her smile more than to satisfy his own craven lust. Her mind knew she’d find her adventures in Los Angeles, as that was her deepest wish; but when Julian offered to be her chaperon, her guardian angel through the levels of Hell she’d ascent to that week, she flew out immediately. She shivered, her voice barely audible over the steaming power of the running water, eyes rolling in delight as she felt her fingers tighten on the shower bar, moaning, crying out in total delight.
Then she felt it.
Her fingers strumming the sensitive clitty, the cock banging deeper inside her sweet body, and the older, wicked man enjoying her body without hesitation. An orgasm of unimaginable proportions was coursing through her veins, her body jumping like mad, her skin flecked with goose bumps as Julian fucked his penetrating-self deeper with each stroke, water shooting in all directions against the bath walls and shower door.
Suddenly, his cock evacuated the sweet, snug pussy. Grasping her shoulder, Julian turned Starr, whispering over the rushing water, “Kneel, my sweet fuck.”
Obediently, Starr went to her knees, watching his magnificent cock bouncing like a tree branch in a storm. She whimpered, watching the head bobbing before her eyes. A hand grasped her head, and she found herself nose-to-tip with the hard-on bouncing obscenely. Instinctively, her mouth opened, and Starr inhaled Julian’s fuckstick, swallowing him to the root. Her nose rested on the cropped crotch hairs, inhaling the fresh scent of her just-fucked cunt on the pubes.
A gagging motion and she swallowed the prick as far down her throat as possible. Julian was thrilled she had little to no gag reflex, and was consuming him like this was the last cock she’d ever suck. Her head bobbed up and down the length, her lips a perfect ‘O’ closing around the whole girth. She was watching his cock moving, the pubic hairs tickling her nose, making her whimper and slobber in delight.
“Goddamn Starr”, he moaned. “You’re such a sweet cocksucker! Ohhhh fuck you’re so damned good!”
A buck of his hips and Julian could feel the exodus of cum slipping from the tip and jetting out over her face, making the gorgeous woman sticky. Starr was greedily gobbling the stream of hot jism floating in mid-air, the droplets catching on her cheeks and lips, touching her in all directions, making her shiver in delight. Her tongue ran over her teeth, bringing in, slurping down all the thick ropey cum that her hungry mouth could catch.
Julian stroked, grasped and pummeled his cockstick as hard as possible, fucking his own fist, wringing every drop out of himself and leaving nothing inside the vein of his body. He could feel the sensitivity like needles on his head, the bits of stickiness lingering, drip-drip-dripping down his shaft and onto her eager tongue. Starr was lapping him up like a woman dying of sexual thirst. She had every drop he could offer needing to be sated as quickly as possible.
Taking her skull in his hand, Julian pushed on the back of her head, bringing her down onto the cum-covered fist and fuckstick. His breath was short and fast as she closed the gap, licking and slurping all the man-juices she could gather down her mouth and over her palette. He was amazingly pleased at how adept she was to sucking cock and drinking cum.
“Oooooooh FUCK Starr! That was goddamned incredible!”
She looked up, her nose planted on the root of his cock, her eyes wide and smiling, her mouth a perfect circle on his dick, licking him inside her wet, lingering mouth.
Eyes fluttering, Starr knew he was her thrall, and vice-versa. She never spoke, just continued licking the sensitive head and drinking everything he could give her, pumping her face deeper onto the shaft, swallowing his saltiness and slurping the last of his cum, even before he could move her head back and forth in his hands.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Failure
Saturday, October 3, 2009
She's Gone For Good
I came home & found an e-mail, telling me to never look for her again. The Woman of my Dreams has left me once and for all. She was honest with me, telling me earlier that she’d be leaving the internet, making her way deeper into the forages of her life, trying to make a new path. Sadly, at this point, this will never include me. The only way I’ll ever touch her again is in my memories, in my dreams and when I recall all she ever gave me.
She helped free me from believing I had to accept what life handed me and not what I could take from life or earn with the sweat of my mind and the joy of my heart. I know now that I can make anything happen. I can make my dreams come true. And I can make it happen without the fear of growing old, alone or making more mistakes.
I hope she never regrets meeting me. I will never regret meeting her, even once in life. She made me smile, made me take life by the horns and run away with the joy that anything is possible in this world.
And for that, I have to be grateful.
There’s a lot of love I have for her, and maybe a lot of resentment that she couldn’t keep wanting me as much as I wanted her. In the next few months I’ll be posting poems, short stories, and anything that I have for her either on-line or maybe as a published story just to alleviate myself of the fantasy of having her in my memories, my heart and my wishes.
She’s following her path; I have to follow mine.
I’ll miss her more than I should for a long time to come.
I’ll have to work to get over her once and for all. She knows where I am; I went to her so now she can come to me.
Like that would ever happen.
I love you. I always will, my angel. I just wish you could love me the same way.
Always,
Julian
A Final Letter to Her (Written 09/29/’09)
My Beloved,
It’s late & I am getting ready for bed. I appreciated your suggestions, and enjoyed your story quite a bit. You’ve always been a great story-teller, and you’re incredibly vivid when doing so, which is (obviously) what made you so popular as a cam actress. That you’re so damned gorgeous is icing on the cake, and I’m sure many men want another lick of your frosting. ~lol!~
You’re an exhibitionist, deep inside along with all the many flavors of delight inside you, such as submissive, switch, bisexual, mistress, lover and giver-of-amazing-pleasures. All that paints a vivid and wonderful image of a lover many men wish they could have dreamt up on their own; when you arrived on the scene at SL and at the cam-site (among other places which you didn’t tell me about - ~wink!~) I knew you’d be a success. Nothing could stop you and your hopes and dreams.
I’m just sorry your ‘lover’ turned your delights into a business and made you feel as if you’d have to be leveling the playing field; in other words, bringing s much to the table as he did with his job. That’s not fair because dreamers don’t live in this world: they live beyond it. I’m always going to be chasing my dreams, between classes or jobs or even self-publishing. Maybe one day you’ll see me on Oprah’s Book Club as Julian’s-alter-ego & not my inner-self. That would be kinda cool, and though it’s only an allusion in the pages, you know one of the events everyone is reading about, is my encounter with you.
I doubt denial of your inner urges will truly stop you in any way. It may slow you down, and you may be camming for pleasure more than money, or meeting strange men on the sly, but you’re gonna always be a lusty delight for someone besides yourself. You have an innate ability to make someone feel like there’s nothing and no one else in the world but you, them and their fantasies, no matter how wildly perverse.
Yes, you have your vices, as do we all. Sometimes we curb them, surrender to them, or make concessions such as lying or bringing someone into your field of desires. I know there are limits & that I won’t be crossing them unless I am alone. I hope you’re more successful than I am in this endeavor, but with your ‘lover’, I can’t see him watching you with another man, much less alone two of them.
You’re also a thrill-seeker, and danger just makes the elements of lust an exploration that much more incredible. You could almost be high, addicted to the feeling, the rush, of whatever the situation may lead you to. Deep down inside you weren’t sure what would happen meeting me, and that was a thrill for you. It was a thrill for me too, because you surpassed all my wildest expectations, even when you didn’t want to do a few little things.
(Actually we just ran short of time but that’s beside the point.)
I honestly, don’t see myself doing the kinds of things you did. I can see myself writing, chatting but for myself. I am hoping to buy the domain name and have a launching pad for my erotica and anything else I want to create. I doubt anyone aside from Daddy Bears & young fags want to pay to see me naked, and I don’t want that kind of fervor in my life. Maybe in my stories or an encounter or two, but that’s about all.
At this point I am creating a text & audio for Literotica, meaning it’s free. If I can get enough people that like it along with some of my other stories, maybe then I’ll be able to see my self-published stories moving, making me a name as a author instead of another anonymous pornographer. You, on the other hand, are a star. A discreet one but a star nonetheless. And for what you did I’m proud of you; you did what was honest to the woman inside you, not just to make someone smile. I guess that’s why I feel so much for you, and have to work hard to not look for you, wait (or hope) for a response, or even interact. You’re an override, a power surge, and a wish for so very much that I can’t have, and must accept.
Should my voice arrive at Literotica I’ll send you a link so you can hear it, critique it, and send me some pointers. After reading your story, I’m thinking you emoted, moaned, and made it a sensual delight for the aural hopes of a listener. And I’m sure it, like your images, and your time, was very worth it.
You’re an amazing lady & I am lucky you’re still chatting or writing to me when you can easily find someone more supportive or closer than I am here in Texas. I don’t mind being on the outside of your circle of lovers/intimates, and I am happy you’re a part of my life.
I think it will all be ending soon here in Texas. That’s why I am trying to write as much as possible, even living with her. I know what she wants, and I know what I want, and I doubt she’s gonna join in with my lusty hopes and dreams. In fact, she’s trying to curb them as much as possible with her own participation. Maybe, had I known she liked some of these things, I could have brought her into others. But, actress Jeri Ryan had something similar happen, where her ‘lover’ took her to a swingers (or bondage) club, and she was stunned seeing all the various peoples in many arranged places and such, and left in tears. I think I’d endure the same thing, and I just don’t see her coming along or participating.
I may be adding a DSL line to this place for a few months, until I can move into a studio of my own. Whether I’ll stay in Texas will depend on how book sales happen, even a few can make me noticeable among other authors, agents and publishers. They can have some of my bigger, deeper (yet erotically obscene) works.
I hope one day I get to see you again. Touching you is another story. But I can always hope … ~wink!~
I’ll be in touch. (THIS WAS WRITTEN BEFORE HER LETTER CAME TO ME!) IM or drop me a note any time. I’ll be substitute teaching soon, so I’ll have money to save. I am hoping the books will be something like a side-job, though my retail job is already that for cash. Thank you for listening and hearing me.
Maybe if you’re good I’ll tell you the explicit & obscene details of what I want to do; but you’re gonna have to do the same for me.
(Just kidding … like I could ever excite you!)
Always,
Julian’s-alter-ego
p.s. “Protect your eyes; they are the most important part of you & what I fell deepest in love with. Not lust or infatuation; that comes from the external. Those amazing blue eyes gave me the internal. And Happy Birthday. There should always be one day when the world comes to a halt just for you. And you do deserve it my angel, and you always will.”
DON’T SEND THIS GODDAMNED ABORTION!!
My Dearest Angel & Friend,
I don’t know what’s happening now. I guess either you’ve had your fill of fun or you’re going to focus on your career. I don’t know what’s happening between you & your ‘lover’ but it doesn’t sound good. Every time something closes for you, it seems as if he’s either in a rage or questioning what’s going on around him, like a fit of paranoia.
It always seems as if you’re finally finding a balance and then something over turns the apple cart and makes a mess of things. I know you’re quiet about a lot of things so I can only assume the suspicion level has risen again and you’re in a heated moment, thus the closing of the website. Myself, I don’t think this is the life for me any longer. I am already planning mischief and madness, rendezvous and new people in life. I don’t know that I’ll be here much longer either, as I have been moved into a smaller place and I have a studio but I know that I can’t keep from following my desires and wants and needs.
She’s trying hard to have me change to one person – her alone. Inside I know and doubt that will be the truth of my heart so I’m better off leaving. I hope 'teaching' affords you all your hopes and dreams too my angel. You’ve deserved them and so much more.
I hope your career takes you far. You’re an amazing woman and I’d be pleased and thrilled if you were a part of my life in any way. I’d be thrilled with you if you were a porn star or a nurse, a mother or a stripper, a wife or a whore. You always made my ego and heart fly in ways I can’t imagine & you made all my dreams come true.
I am writing daily, and working on the books or short stories as often as possible. I am going to be trying to leave here soon for any new possibility. I have a chance to substitute teach, and I am saving my money, getting ready to leave. You’re probably the only person who could understand the idea of chasing a dream, travelling towards it no matter how far away. And knowing deep inside your own heart it was worth it.
The only thing I think that’s wrong with all she’s trying to do is enter my honesty as an after-the-fact moment. She had to learn what I wanted, versus finding someone who already has the same vices, needs and questions. She’s trying, but I know being dishonest will kill her, and I just can’t make my changes happen to make her happy. In fact, I’m working on making ME happiest. In my heart of hearts you’ve been one of the few people in my life worth telling everything to, and I’ve been happy to know and enjoy you in my life. I’d accept you in my heart or home without question, enjoying running parallel with you, and if nothing else, just running our lustful fantasies over each others’ bodies. Even just being silly and fun would be so amazing. I could … well, you know all those thoughts in my head.
If I find you’re not on that often, or not answering my letters/e-mails, I can only believe you’re enjoying yourself. As much as I‘d love to I shall keep your secrets, be honest with you, and do my best not to bother you. It may be hard, but I’ll try.
Need anything, just call me. Please.
Want anything: a listener, a guardian angel, a friend, a shelter, I’d be that for you. Care to explore something wicked & obscene & chase your thrills to the ends of the Earth? I’ll buy the ticket next to yours’ and sit with you all the way out into disaster.
My greatest dream would be a rainy night, a knock at the door, and a cab in the distance. You’d be at the door, soaked to the skin, looking at me, smiling knowing all my warmth from my home to my heart, are still yours’ no matter how much time has passed. If you asked me to go get you, I’d go without hesitation, saving all I could for the drive, the flight and the chance just to see you again.
Of course, you know all that deep in your heart.
Maybe one day you’ll follow it to me.
Maybe ...
Always,
Hopeful





