Saturday, March 9, 2013

Transient Lives, A Small Shock & Dry Heaves

I haven't written in some time & for that I apologize.  I've been busy working at my new job at a Christian Academy and they pride themselves on "Cleanliness of the body & soul being next to Godliness."  And when I signed my contract I found that I could be released for "Moral Turpitude", meaning if they found anything that could be construed as a vulgar, demeaning, non-Christian lifestyle or desire I could be released without a moment's notice. 

Granted I don't use the schools' server or ISP or check anything wicked, naughty or fun on my shitty cell phone (I can't wait to get a jail-break-ed iPhone!) nor do I use the neighbors Wi-Fi any longer, not even for non-pornographic materials or Mp3's.  I stay quiet, visit my brother, do grades, write longhand and read as often as possible.  I also eat out since it's always a bitch cooking for one.

Or two from time to time.  I met another teacher who's quite vanilla but she's kind and I don't want to meet her family yet so there's space; I'm in a duplex my family got me into but they're nosy so I am keeping secrets in all directions, just like I have for so many years regarding my on-line life.

I don't know if I'll ever be honest.  Few people know me and I hide a lot from many people but today was one that caught me off guard.  I was on Vance Jackson & Loop 410 when I saw a guy playing guitar at the intersection.  He had a small dog at his feet on a leash.  I drove up the street, bough a can of dog food with the pull-top lid and made change for a $20 dollar bill.  When I came back he was gone and I spied him off to one side drinking a bottled water someone passing probably gave him and the dog sat under the shade of the bus stop.  When I parked, I came closer and was shocked: the dog was a spitting image of the dog I had to put to sleep a few years back.  Even the little coloration of the mustache was a shocker. 



(Later I dug out the photos in the box when I came home & checked.  I cried a little more.)

My friend with me is an RC buff & wanted to look at the models at HobbyTown.  Despite having my own dogs I almost offered this guy $200 for the dog.  But deep down inside if you love a dog & it loves you back nothing can replace that relationship, not even money.  He told me it was someone else's dog and I kept having memories trigger little shocks in me.  I hadn't thought of this dog in years and here it was again, in all his glory.

My friend took a photo for me, led me off and we shook hands with the young man, hoping he finds a safe place in one of the shelters or a good Samaritan to aid him in his journey.  Just to see the dog, after wandering around HobbyTown I thought about asking him to stay with me for a while. 

When I came out they were gone.  I could have checked the shelter lines downtown, I could have called the local charities, but I don't think it was meant for me to do so.  I gave him some money, and the memory some food, and I wept.