I remember the prom: corsage, crinoline dress with spahgetti straps, a see-through shawl, and semi-chunk heels that your mom was wearing for church earlier this year. Or they're the spikey, over-strappy shoes wrapped around you several times. I remember tickets were $25 a couple, meaning with your date all the crappy finger-foods & punch were covered along with chaperone's from the classes, meaning the teachers' mingled about, watching that we didn't see them slip away to have a double-scotch at the bar below our ballroom.
God almighty - 1985 was SO long ago.
God almighty - 1985 was SO long ago.
Wow. 23 years ago I was wishing for the luck of love, and in the end I was toilet-papering a friends' house in my tuxedo while being driven about by the chauffeur from the mortuary. Yes, I rented a mourners' car, but that's because we rented every car around town; after I rented the gigantic behemoth & people were rushing to enter that pact since they didn't want to go to the prom in a monster truck or driven by mommy in the station wagon or in the 'Good Times' van by Chevy with all the air-brushed art or candy flecking & captains chairs inside them. And yes, he & I were drunk as skunks!
Sadly, despite the imagery of soccer-moms and groceries, the mini-van was just coming into style and not yet along side with the available transports in the market.
Or at least not in Southern Texas. ~lol!~ Truth be told I've even driven one of those ultra-custom vans holding everything but a waterbed and a strokelight and discoball.
Anyway, back to prom: I wore a white dinner jacket, and to psyche myself up to actually having a date with a girl, I kept replaying the song "View to a Kill" by Duran-Duran from the Bond movie of the same name, and thought I looked pretty spiffy in my big glasses with brown tinting, red bow tie & matching cummerbund, and my date came from the costal town of Port Aransas; she was older than me, MUCH hotter than I could imagine, and was sweet enough to do this favor of attending the prom with me.
I took my best-friend since third grade cub scouts, and he had his steady girl who later became his first wife. I learned later that the Losoya's next door were connected to him also, knowing him from days in the Air Force and chaos between marriages. he had the back seat to make out in, and I was too shy to do anything but make small talk with my date, whom I'd had a crush on since we'd met in 1982. Three years, several meetings and my prom and despite being watched by my classmates nothing happened.
Dammit, I wish I could find the actual prom pics - I've found some similar to my outfit and the times, but they're not really me. Grrrrrrrrrrrr!
We crashed a Bennigan's & had two bottles of champagne, steaks for dinner, and smiled & took a load of pictures and I was happy. Two hours before I had been dancing, and all the girls from my school were taken aback that I had a date at all.
They were certain I'd pussy out and just fall off the face of the earth, or actually go alone to such an event. I wasn't the extrovert I am now so sitting home would have been more my style than anything else, thus the beginning of the hermit lifestlye I seek today.
Why are we discussing this topic? Actually, the Prom in Houston, Texas for high school had an arguement that occurred at the hotel hosting the ballroom, and one of the atendees and her date were escorted off the property by the police. Very sad, that the girls' only real prom photo was the one of her in cuffs. She cried to the listening television station that her outfit was 'custom made', and that she really liked her dress. Sadly, she also broke one of the rules as listed on her prom ticket:
* Only one inch of the midsection can be shown.
* Bare backs are acceptable.
* Slits in the dress can be no more than three inches from the knee.
* See through fabrics should not be in places to which reveal private body parts.
* Proper undergarments must be worn at all times. (This was her death knell, dear readers, see the photos below! And when she cried to the television station she was showing off her tattooes & nipples within the confines of the dress.)
* Tennis shoes of any kind are unacceptable.
Now she claimed her friends tried covering her with the train of the dress and when she was not allowed inside, she asked for a refund immediately of her ticket money. It was not given, and she was told to leave - when she refused the police were called and thus she went out in handcuffs.
I saw the dress, and it IS revealing, so I don't think she didn't know, but she tried getting by and failed. However, I searched for something I had seen before, and there it was: American Idol Kellie Pickler in her prom dress, which was by no means modest in any description of the word.
In fact, I think the only other person worthy of that outfit would have been Jenna Jameson or Traci Lords. I mean, really: tell me those dresses aren't the infatuation with the lustiness of youth and the chance to show off while you've got it? Had I known I'd look the way I do now in life I think my jeans would have been a little tighter.
~wink!~
I am going to finish my degree in Language Arts 6-12 and one of the local high shcools could hire me. Thus, I'd be the chaperone, and the one barring entry or smiling politely showing off my barely-legal date to the rest of the senior class. I know I'd get some disapproving looks like I do now in life.
That girl knew better, but she also could have been dealt with on a different level that would not have involved the police rolling her out the door. Maybe the principal should have taken her to Rick's Cabaret so she could see who really likes her dress besides horny teenage boys... well, really anyone with a wanga-doodle & their tongue hanging out.
After all, I don't think she was ever refunded the money.
At least she could have earned it back.
Adios!
~J~
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