I keep wondering what to share here. My commentators have come and gone in all forms: former lovers, acquaintances, friends-with-benefits, people passing by, other bloggers, people wondering what the Hell I wrote when I posted the link elsewhere.
Some days I'm not sure if writing anything is a solution to my current life, my current situation, or my current fears. In working on being honest, one thing people may wonder about is my appearance. Now some people have met me, and some have met me in real-life.
When I see ASL (age, sex, location) I usually respond: 43, 6'2" Male Hispanic, Latino, Texas ... and in detail ... black hair, brown eyes, dark skin, tall, broad shoulders.
So what comes up in peoples minds? Probably something like this:
And in actuality I see something more like this.
Now if you look at both men there's differences. Antonio Banderas (AB) is a stud; Alfredo Molina (AM) is a dud, or more precisely, a fuddy-duddy.
AB smiles & girls swoon. AM smiles & scares small children.
AB dances & spins in tailored outfits. AM wears loose clothing.
AB is shirtless, which makes the audience gasp, even the men. AM is shirtless, and everyone chuckles, even the men.
AB is an action hero in a movie. AM is the scientist/lawyer/artist/friend in a movie.
AB gets the girl; even breaking her heart she'll still love his charm. AM comforts the heartbroken girl; if he breaks her heart he's scolded or chided for being so ruthless.
Since I feel more AM than AB, I limit my images. I post things, places, moments, but rarely my face. I posted my cock (don't laugh) on a fetish website and was told "That's not a pretty image."
That's why I'm a little calm about it all; one day maybe ...
For now I'll express myself through my words and keep posting images from time to time.
Maybe I'll be in them one day.
Maybe I'll feel more AB than AM.
~ Adios ~
Since I feel more AM than AB, I limit my images. I post things, places, moments, but rarely my face. I posted my cock (don't laugh) on a fetish website and was told "That's not a pretty image."
That's why I'm a little calm about it all; one day maybe ...
For now I'll express myself through my words and keep posting images from time to time.
Maybe I'll be in them one day.
Maybe I'll feel more AB than AM.
~ Adios ~
6 comments:
You are awesome!!!
on another note, sadly I have to say, Just wanted you to know that I have had to shut down my site for a tiny bit. I have had been getting threats and harrassed.
I might even have to open a whole new blog. who knows.
Just wanted to let you know.
I hope you dont forget about me. Ill keep visiting your site. TIll things are taken care. Oh yeah and happy freakin Monday!
FACT: I have never seen a picture of you.
FACT: What draws me to you is your raw, real, open and honest thoughts you convey here. Even the dark and painful ones. I wish I could be so frank with my hurt, suffering and pain as you are. I skip around it with inuendos only a few if even that may understand.
FACT: The above fact is what makes you attractive.
@ SoccerMom - Thank you for the sweet words. Sorry you've got weirdos chasing you; hopefully they'll pull back (or disappear) and let you enjoy writing.
@ DrenchXOXO - I want to express the real me, but I hide behind my words, my facade, which make me beautiful. Or at least in my eyes; thank you for not letting me become fearful of my own reflection and wanting to hear/know more. It & your support is always appreciated.
I know the real you. I still think you are an amazing man and friend... even when you say you are not.
And you know me, I don't sugar-coat or mince my words. I say what I think.
And you know, I'm always here for ya...always.
@ ~A ... you don't know what that means to me. And how much I appreciate all the words & support.
Thank you & I am following you already. Connections gotta start somewhere, right?
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