(Written last week)..:
I am fairly vain & conceited. There are few if any redeeming qualities in my life as it is and I don't think I am unrepentant, just honest and hedonistic. I still think that my end would be like Durer's painting, of the old knight: last journey, dog & horse, weapon, the Devil and Death all about. The dog is his salvation, in my eyes, walking between him & evil itself in the background next to the horse.
See link for more information: http://www.wga.hu/frames-e.html?/html/d/durer/2/13/4/071.html
9:30 a.m. – more people entering the Laundromat. Least it's not a bunch of hung over 'mojados' (that's the shit-kicker racist in me griping about the illegal's again) making long distance calls on cell phones or littering the ground with calling cards and cigarette butts, telling one another about last nights beer, or about how much money they're sending home.
(Written this today)
I avoided last week's rush to chronicle because it would be too much of a cliché: angry American frustrated with violence overseas and remembering 09/11. Droll, very droll. The world seems as cold as it was before the national tragedy, and we're selfish and self-centered again as always. Capitalism rules, right next to conceit and contempt!
I'm always hustling, and really I mean short of peddling my ass on the street corner, and I hate living as I do, but this is my last chance for a career, a little consumption, and maybe a moment of love. And if not, then lust is good too.
God I sound like such a fucking whiny asswipe. I guess that's why I post my pictures here, a few incoherent thoughts, and some songs I like for people to see or listen to more about me and what's past the crunchy shell next to the nougat center.
I have kept from cyber-begging, and my ADD focuses me on my internal pleasures (sex, self-gratification, shopping, stealing) but keeps me from completing something meaningful or substantial.
I haven't written a new screenplay since I worked on my Brother Word processor (imagine hearing the clack-clack-clacking all day when writing) and then there are the pin-ups, pictures, paintings, half-done illustrations and sketches leaking out of notebooks and backpacks galore. And Lordy, I need to apologize to so many people for letting them down.
I'm sorry. So very sorry.
Will I ever be done I wonder?
Can I finish all my projects and make a real contribution to mankind?
Will I be remembered?
Let's see what people know about me:
1. Where did you meet me? In person or on-line?
2. What university was I expelled out of for one class?
3. What branch of the service was I kicked out of?
4. Who do I connect to more, Ursula K. LeGuin or Leon Uris?
5. Where do I live? Do I have any children?
6. Do I have a dog or a gun? Both? Neither?
7. Have you seen me in person, naked, or do you want to?
8. How many times have I been married? How many divorces?
9. Am I a drunk or a doper? Or am I just fat?
10. Have you called me just to cry or is there always an ulterior motive?
11. Have I called you just to cry or did I make someone (you or me) smile in the end?
12. Should men be answering these questions also?
13. Am I that evasive or am I more concerned with someone else's needs?
14. Have you received a letter from me, proving my existence? Do you want one? (Christmas is coming so I have to get a proper image for the card, maybe something like this … )
4 comments:
Let's see how well I know you Jules!:
1. Where did you meet me? In person or on-line? Online at Literotica
2. What university was I expelled out of for one class? Don't quite remember that one, babe
3. What branch of the service was I kicked out of? Military
4. Who do I connect to more, Ursula K. LeGuin or Leon Uris? Considering her vast decree of genre's and writing style, I'd say you'd connect more with LeGuin
5. Where do I live? Do I have any children? San Antonio, Texas. No children yet, but you'd like to one day with someone special. You're gonna be a great dad on day.
6. Do I have a dog or a gun? Both? Neither? You have a dog(s) and used to have guns but not anymore. Your thinking you may need to start packing one though as teaching is a dangerous job.
7. Have you seen me in person, naked, or do you want to? Never in person, sorta naked and yes I want to see it all in the flesh!
8. How many times have I been married? How many divorces?
Married at least once, divorced.
9. Am I a drunk or a doper? Or am I just fat? You're neither. You think your fat, but we all think your gorgeous.
10. Have you called me just to cry or is there always an ulterior motive? We've called just to cry and laugh.
11. Have I called you just to cry or did I make someone (you or me) smile in the end? We always end up smiling in the end.
12. Should men be answering these questions also? Yes, there is a part of you that is curious and tempting.
13. Am I that evasive or am I more concerned with someone else's needs? You're always more concerned about someone else's needs leaving your's till later. You're important too you know.
14. Have you received a letter from me, proving my existence? Do you want one? Yes I have, and I've kept each one safe and guarded. They're my treasure and I'm alway hoping for more.
You go to the head of the class ... so far.
Sadly, I could only answer a couple of these. Must read more. (warm smile)
Don't worry about it. Those who answered usually had a large number of chats/calls/pillow talk with me so that how their acquired the answers.
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