Thinking Carefully ...

I am thinking about taking this blog to a Private/Invitation Only status, and will have a certain number of people I will send invites to, such as those who've been close to me for years now, and those who make an effort to respond.

Like Facebook, I am thinking of turning pro, or going public.  I am going to try selling my stories on Amazon, Smashmouth and (maybe) Lulu's websites, as I may be publishing novels.  My own, but hopefully sales will be as encouraging as downloads.  Now I've gotten two (2) responses to my posting, but I am hoping for more to know where & how to market my stories/characters/books.

Sunday I'll have an idea where I stand, and if this isn't just me being egotistical or if there's hope as an artist.  I don't want to do the next "50 Shades of Grey", and go about the country reading the book to people.  Anything I create is personal, almost like a whisper, a secret I am willing to share with you if you open the pages.

I don't want to be famous, just successful.  Lee Harvey Oswald is famous, but few know who the top 20 Millionaires in the US are today, and may not recognize them on the street if they crossed paths.  That's what I want, as I want it, since I'm not writing something of book recognition status.  I want to thrill you, make you smile, and enjoy what you read, knowing you got the best quality possible.

So ... 20 days.  Maybe 30 but we'll make a bigger announcement next week, after Sunday.

Take care.

Thank you all for everything.

afare24get

Talk to Me

Talk to Me

Dear Readers,

I, the perverted author, am genuinely interested in what you’re thinking when you read my story.  Is it fodder for your desires, something unfulfilled that you’re dying to see happen or a wish of something that never was, or are you just enjoying the prose I gave my heart and soul to in my stories?  Do they make you smile, moan, gasp or just lose control?

In one weekend, very recently, I went into a great number of downloads, meaning someone’s finding, sharing, storing or doing something with my stories.  That had a great deal of appeal for me, meaning there could be a future in my writing.  Hopefully I am not deluding myself.

The next step for me is going into self-publication, meaning I’ll be offering my stories on-line through someone like Amazon, SmashMouth or Lulu’s websites for purchase.  Yes, there still will be stories here and at Literotica but I’d also like to pay back some of my student loans, and if you’ve read my personal blog you’ll see minimum wage doesn’t pay the tax or the cookie man.  I have a few novels in mind, but I’d like to know a little something about you, my reader, if you’d be so kind. 

Nothing here is going to anyone: not a publisher, not to a website, nor into a permanent archive, and certainly not the FBI or whomever is trying to monitor all our reading preferences.  I am asking because I am trying to make a service work.  And that service is being a fair, competent author.  I don’t want someone’s suggestion (such as a publisher or certain company) to bite me on the ass and then I am hearing from fans/friends after the fact, “if you’d done this we’d like your work more.”

You can cut & paste this survey with an X, in each blank space for an answer to my questions.  If you have any specifics or suggestions, you can add them on to the bottom after the survey and I’ll read them.  Every one of you who reads & makes an effort to answer this survey will get a little something (hopefully) in your e-mail from me directly.  Don’t send any attachments please; I’m not sending you Viruses so don’t send me any with this survey.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

afare24get

When done CUT & PASTE this into an e-mail & send it to the following address:  a_fare_2_4get@hotmail.com

Are you male ___ or female ___?

Age group: 18-24 ____ 25-34 ____ 35-45 ____ 45-56 ____ 57+ ____

Do you seek out certain writers weekly?  Yes ___ No ____

Do you take suggestions from … ?  The Publishers____ The websites ____ Word of Mouth ____

Do you offer suggestions on … ? Blogs ____ Forums _____ Personal Sites ____ Message Boards ____

Do you have a certain number of authors you follow at all times (Favorites)?  Yes ____ No ____

If so how many?  1- 4 _____ 5-10 ____ 11-15 ____ 16-21 ____ 21 or more ____

Am I one of your favorites? Yes ___ No ____

Do you ever connect with your author’s?  Yes ____ No ___

If so, how?  Direct E-mail ____ Comments to Story ____ Message Boards _____ At story sites with other fans ____

Do you like/want your favorite author connecting with you in return?  Yes ____ No ____

Do you like downloading erotica/porn for your personal use/collection? _____

Do you have a collection of erotica for your personal reading library?  Yes ____ No ____

What size?  Small _____ (few select/choice authors) Medium ____ (few collections) Large _____ (Assorted/MANY)

Would you pay for erotica from your favorite author?  Yes ___ No ____

If so, how much?  99¢ _____ $1.99 ____ $2.99 _____ $3.99 _____ $5.99 _____ More ____ More in print _____

What would the price depend on in paying for erotic novels/downloads?

Check all that apply: Author ____ Price ____ Cover Art ____ Art inside the novel ____ Suggestions from other readers ____

Publisher/website suggestions ____ Reputation ____ Free Previews ____ Length of novel ____ Reviews by other readers ____

Do you like leaving reviews, either favorable or unfavorable?  Yes ____ No ____

If you had the chance, would you steal a copy of the erotic novel?  Yes ___ No ____

If you could afford a novel, but still had the chance to steal it, would you?  Yes ____ No _____

Do you have any suggestions to this author?  If so, what suggestions would you offer me?  Is there anything you’d like written about that hasn’t been done before, either for free or for general consumption?

Go Here

Here.  

Please.

Now.

Enjoy.

Crying and Candles

"Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind; the thief doth fear each bush an officer."

                                                                         ~ 3 King Henry VI, Act 5/Scene 6

I haven't been valiant, brave or a good man.  I lay waste to the talent I am given and tonight, I am sad.  I am hoping prayer works and the smallest of God's creatures recovers, as I am sneaking it milk, cheese and some sandwich meat in hopes it's just a little dehydrated and ill, nothing too serious. 

I've been here before, and I don't like it.

I don't think, however, that my neighbors have taken the best care possible, of their new puppy.  Heart-worm drugs for my dog cost a bundle, and vaccinations aren't cheap.  They said they got it off craigslist but they don't remember much but that the dog cost $100 and the guy assured them it had been given all its' puppy shots and vaccinations.

To them it's an animal.  Maybe that's all it should be to me.  But I see it as wounded, needing love and care, and I can't give it to that poor little puppy. It's a sweet dog, always running up to bark at me and to give kisses to my dogs through the fence.  Now that I see it as sick I can't let my dogs get near it so we're in a crowded house scenario.

I spoke to the neighbors directly, but they're more gang thug than pup walkers.  I see the doggie under the tree, sleeping/resting, maybe just trying to stay alive.  I can't do anything for it as it's not my dog.  And I can't complain to the damned authorities because they're goddamned eunuchs like me: ball less servants to the almighty dollar and the finish of the day.  I wish I could just buy the dog, save it and give it to a good home, but that's not the case.  I'm afraid I'll awake and find it dead under it's tree or in the middle of the yard.

"The law?  The law is a human institution."

                               Sheriff Cooley/O Brother Where Art Thou? (2000)

I keep hoping San Antonio will have a No-Kill Shelter, but they were trying for it by 2011 when I wrote my first account in September 2009.  It's 2012 and the prospect has been basically abandoned; on Sunday along side of the road you can find people and selling dogs like mad, claiming they're AKC but I doubt the usual criteria for sales is visible tattoos, flip-flops and primer-coated cars as marketability for $200 + dogs.

(That sounds bad & I apologize deeply, but there's no regulation.  I've tried calling the cops & animal services but they don't operate complaints on the weekends when the flea market is open & noone is selling roadside M-F 8am to 5pm.  Cash businesses don't need bankers hours.)

Maybe we need legislature like Louisiana has regarding roadside sales.

Maybe I need to be braver than I am, or maybe I need to stick and KEEP my head in the sand.

Maybe ... but no answers.

Bed time.

Sleep will bring peace, and hopefully an answered prayer.

Good night dear friends, readers and the world in general.

'Til next time.

Just a Sub

Today I got kicked in the balls.  I went to an 80+ year old wombat asking for grades for a few students new to the class I was watching & teaching for the 4 week stint I was doing.  When she asked why, I told her I was going to insert grades for the teacher.

She looked at me puzzled, and thus our conversation began: "But why Mr. G?"

I replied, "I'm in the room long-term.  Currently I'm the teacher of record."

The wombat said, "No.  You're not.  You're only a substitute.  You shouldn't ever have access to GradeBook."

I was taken slightly aghast, thinking of all the jobs I've done in the last few years since I received my degree for the field of education.  I KNOW how to use the systems, passwords, input grades, and teach and create lessons.

She looked at me as if I fell off the back of the goddamned work truck with a garden-hose and shitkicker boots ready to tend the cows and mow lawns, instead of teaching to the mind and intellect.  I felt low, like maybe I didn't belong there.

So I smiled, not wanting to argue or to put the teacher in a spot of trouble, and said, "I'm sorry.  I'll just make sure she gets her grades on a spreadsheet so she can input them herself."

Suddenly she didn't look like someone's genteel granny, but an acient, evil shark, smiling as she took me down a peg, telling me, "The only teacher of record is Mrs. X~, who's a certified teacher, and you're only a sub."

I smiled again, saying, "Thank you" and promised to get all this to the teacher immediately.  Then I left, not saying another thing about my job, my place, or even thinking anything but 'I am not paid enough for this bullshit.'

I am not paid enough for this bullshit.  I get a measly $75 bucks a day, no health and I am living hand-to-mouth, hoping and trying for the future of my dreams.  From now on I should be 'just a substitute', never checking on the In-school suspension teacher, helping with crowd control, working with kids to keep standards high, or even teaching.  For this kind of money teachers should have the work ready, not a vague concept of what they want me to teach.  I teach using PowerPoint, internet lessons, art, music and open discussions and conversations.  I can take grades, keep secrets, and stop a fight.

So why should I?  Honestly, I made a little less as a bar bouncer, and could probably get a few blowjobs of appreciation from young strippers.  Maybe a bonus menage-a-trios for Christmas, more-so than nagging and niggling and idiocy.

I AM unhappy teaching right now, simply because I don't have a certification, and I keep failing my test by 2 point.  If I want to have my test rescored by hand, then TEA will do it for $150 (whereas the test cost $175) thus I am putting in an application with the local Catholic church, where hopefully my lack of certification will not hinder me from getting a job that will pay the bills and keep me a little happier.

But no girls school, too much wicked imagination swimming with pervy ideas to work there.  ~lmao!~

Don't go to the link of you're squeamish of wickedness.  ~wink, wink!~

And no, I shan't be advertising this side of my brain to anyone.   But we'll see what happens next.

Just a sub?  Fuck no.

More than some people can imagine ... hell yeah!

Jesus was NOT a homphobe

It's 8:31 a.m. Easter Sunday and right now all over the country (and possibly the world) there are children celebrating the arrival of chocolate bunnies, candies and colored eggs and accepting small yellow chicks as presents to celebrate the day.  

But honestly, what are we, or should we be, celebrating?  In accordance to the Christian ideology we're celebrating the day Christ the Lord came from his tomb, conquering death, and showing those who believe there is life after death.  Not resurrection in a corporeal form, but in a truly spiritual sense.  It's supposed to mean we're able to receive a reward for our love and service to God in heaven, given by the Son, to those who choose to be good, to follow the rules and care for their fellow man and serve others as Christ served us humbly.

That being said, I don't think Jesus would have freaked out seeing the following t-shirt, which was recently banned at an Ohio high-school by an openly-gay Junior student.  The student had to be told to wear his shirt inside-out, and that's usually the idea when a t-shirt is openly vulgar but there are some things you can allow to slide a little bit.

Eventually, he had to sue for his right to expression.  It wasn't for shock-value or to be a trouble maker, but he was making a statement about his individuality and hoping people would accept him without question, like Jesus would have or like Christians profess to love everyone.  I would have thought this would have gone right by considering the kids listen to LMFAO and wear "Sexy and I Know It" t-shirts plastered to their bodies.

I don't want to know my 13 year old is sexy and she knows it.  That's none of my business.  I don't think it's my concern to tell someone they're wrong for being a homosexual.  I don't care.  That's their lives, not mine.  I don't tell anyone beyond this blog or a few other connecting sites, that I am known as Master, Daddy or lover ... that's my business.  His message isn't even professing to be openly homosexual ... it's just showing us a loving Christ who accepts the sinner/sin/person at face value.

 Matthew 21:31
“Which of the two did what his father wanted?” “The first,” they answered. Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you.

The boy has to come to terms with what Christ ask us, his message of love, and care, and be Christian as well as loving.

I hope for the best in his future.  If we're so damned intolerant I pray for ours' as a society.

Venting Sadness

It may be raining in San Antonio soon, dear friends.  And this is the worst job I've had as a substitute teacher this year.  Right now I wish I could call in sick but there's no substitute for a substitute teacher, as Peggy Hill would say about her importance to teaching.

The kids just had STAAR testing, which is the new mandatory state testing pattern they're falling into for their future of conformity and dullness.  I have to work hard to keep them focused, and they don't care.  They have the most ghoulish reasons and desires for NOT working.

It's madness and makes me sad.  Many other teachers I know just do they job to have summers off and find the level of accountability that exist with the system.  I think it's lunacy and I hate it.  I don't love teaching, and haven't loved it for a long time.

 

In the morning I will have to deal with the dorks again & again.  I hate this shit.  I'm sad and I don't make enough to tolerate.  Maybe I need to change perspectives, and a friend of mine told me I need to try something else.  I am going to give the Church a chance, and see if I can work at an all-boy's school much better than with these coed nitwits.

I need to be happy and I need to relax.  After all there's only a few fuckin' things you can do with a degree in English.  Seriously, I checked and here's the answers to that question.  And that's damned heart breaking.

But I need to calm down and write more.  Make happiness out of crap and work harder.

And be hopeful.

Thanks for listening.

~~~

p.s. It just started raining.