It may be raining in San Antonio soon, dear friends. And this is the worst job I've had as a substitute teacher this year. Right now I wish I could call in sick but there's no substitute for a substitute teacher, as Peggy Hill would say about her importance to teaching.
The kids just had STAAR testing, which is the new mandatory state testing pattern they're falling into for their future of conformity and dullness. I have to work hard to keep them focused, and they don't care. They have the most ghoulish reasons and desires for NOT working.
It's madness and makes me sad. Many other teachers I know just do they job to have summers off and find the level of accountability that exist with the system. I think it's lunacy and I hate it. I don't love teaching, and haven't loved it for a long time.
In the morning I will have to deal with the dorks again & again. I hate this shit. I'm sad and I don't make enough to tolerate. Maybe I need to change perspectives, and a friend of mine told me I need to try something else. I am going to give the Church a chance, and see if I can work at an all-boy's school much better than with these coed nitwits.
I need to be happy and I need to relax. After all there's only a few fuckin' things you can do with a degree in English. Seriously, I checked and here's the answers to that question. And that's damned heart breaking.
But I need to calm down and write more. Make happiness out of crap and work harder.
And be hopeful.
Thanks for listening.
~~~
p.s. It just started raining.
2 comments:
The video was extremely thought provoking. A doctor just diagnosed Marcus with ADHD and I completely disagree. I just hope his mother will not rush to medicate. It makes me sad to think he'd be numb to so much of this critical part of his life.
Embrace the rain Julian. Think of it as a needed cleanse from Mother Nature. Maybe a cleanse for you too. You'd hate Oregon. It rains a lot this time of year.
I have been where you are in a job that sucked the life from you and killed your spirit. I was lucky enough, I could quit and find something else. It wasn't easy and I have no doubt it would next to impossible in these times.
I wish I could help you be happy and get the needed relaxation you need. Know that I think of you often and smile when I do. Hang in there my friend. I really am not that far away if you need me.
xoxo
Thank you a million & one times.
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