A Conversation with a Wanna-Be Zombie
"I know people want to be fairies and vampires", she said, "but I want to be a zombie."
A beat, and she continued: "But then that'll end too, won't it?"
I replied softly, "It's only gonna end when you stay out of the cubicle."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It's 7:45 a.m. and I am doing laundry, cleaning house and working at making my studio more organized and discarding the things that don't please me or make a difference in my life.
And I'm not staying in my job any longer.
I am quitting this morning. In a short time I'll be at the offices of my telemarketting job, dropping off my badge and handing in my resignation. I tried, but I just can't do this job in any way, shape or form.
It's not that I don't believe in the product or service, but the damned work is so fucking mind-numbing, and I just can't stand being there. The company says, 'You need to dress at a level of professionalism', but the veterans/people who've been there longer, wear Polo shirts and shabby jeans from American Eagle amid their badly tied dreadlocks and odd haircuts or inter-office romances. I don't need to fuel my rage or party-hearty desires with momentary flings or silly connections on MySpace to nitwits who work with me.
I need dreams to come alive, period.
I need to make Life be all it should be for me. Period!
I was also told, 'Don't text', but the nitwit children were texting each other. I felt a little left out, and at the same time, I also felt like noone was watching them or being any kind of real supervisor, so I knew I didn't want to STAY in this shithole of a zombie job. Of course, when you have hallucinations while at the job, and hear nothing invugorating about your future, all you can do is hold on, pray for the change and leave AT FUCKING ONCE!
In a little while this job with it's ennui will be a memory in my life; I never wanted to call but to BE called. It was like sales: they came to me, I didn't hunt them down again & again.
No more starting today ... adios!
Julian
Epilogue: "I just dropped off my badge and resignation. A friend of mine is doing a 48 hour film festival and needs a crew, actors & the like. When I went in everyone thought I looked too casual for my work shift that night. I told them I may be 'Doing a movie' ... they didn't believe me. They thought my major dream was or IS to be a teacher. That's a nice thought, but time marches on. I am 41 and can't wait for spare time to make my dreams come true. When the chance comes I gotta leap ... right now I'm scared. I'm free-falling, and I have no 'chute. All I can do is my very best. I am not worried about my job - it will be a flinch and a motion and then the others move on, working at their calls, doing what they need to do to get by, and going towards what makes them happy. THIS won't make me happy ... ever. So they're gone. My only regret is that I didn't sleep with my co-workers, one in particular. ~licking my lips!~ Bye for now."
STAIND - Believe In Me
I sit alone and watch the clock,
Trying to collect my thoughts,
All I think about is you.
And so I cry myself to sleep,
And hope the devil I don't meet.
In the dreams that I live through.
Believe in me, and though you've waited for so long,
Believe in me, sometimes the weak become the strong,
Believe in me, this life's not always what it seems,
Believe in me, cause I was made for chasing dreams.
All the smiles you've had to fake,
And all the ??? you've had to take.
Just to lead us here again.
I never have the things to say,
To make it all just go away,
To make it all just disappear.
Believe in me, and though you've waited for so long,
Believe in me, sometimes the weak become the strong,
Believe in me, this life's not always what it seems,
Believe in me, cause i was made for chasing dreams.
It's my life,
It's my choice,
Hear my words,
Hear my voice,
And just believe.
I sit alone and watch the clock,
Trying to collect my thoughts,
And all i think about is you.
If you believe in me, life's not always what it seems
Believe in me, cause i was made for chasing dreams.
Believe in me, and though you've waited for so long,
Believe in me, sometimes the weak become the strong,
Believe in me, this life's not always what it seems,
Believe in me, cause i was made for chasing dreams.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQ1ELyisECc - song & lyrics, just in case the image doesn't work.
http://afare24get.blogspot.com/2008/07/cubicle-zombies.html - Cubicle Zombies Part 1
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