Wednesday, November 5, 2008

To Sir ... Fuck You


Disclaimer: I am in a bad mood so don't confuse my mood for anything more than the nonsensical ramblings of a malcontent angry with the statement of the standards of education. Moreover, I am angry and saddened that a good teacher has been crushed. And, I can see this is the standard of today and the future, and I think it's time to leave Texas and make my dreams rise or fall in California. And, if you read this & think I am subversive, just know I found all this shit on-line - nothing home-made or taken from restricted reading. It's COMMON KNOWLEDGE - except my opinion.

As of 11:01 pm Tuesday November 04, 2008 the United States ushered in an era of change with the introduction of it's first African-American President Barack Obama.

And as of 1525 hrs. today I heard that a former student of mine lost his teaching certification due to a fight in the classroom. When I knew him as a 16-year old linebacker for the local high school football team and later as an amateur boxer and then as a certified teacher with a degree and excellent credentials, I always beamed. The excellent boy became an exceptional man & a teacher. I couldn't have been prouder if he were my own.

He didn't drink as I do; more than likely he doesn't fantasize about which ass to crack like a walnut or a virgin in a porn gangbang. He's super-decent, kind and warm and always sees the upside. When I heard that he's not teaching, I was mortified. Knowing him as well as I do i wanted to cry a little inside and wish for a change in his life. He's working with a charity organization, and is still completing his Master's in education to hopefully go back into teaching or maybe into teaching in the college classroom showing future-teachers what fuck-up's can cross your paths and ruin your career and hopes and dreams.

According to him, the student attacked. He defended himself and the student bounced off his muscular body falling to the ground and cracking his head open in the recoil. That was just a condition of the attack by the student; you charge a brick wall and you're gonna lose.
When I told Mrs. Losoya, she was nonplussed, and said "Well he was stupid to keep the kid and let him get into an attack. he should have sent him to the vice-principal's office and been done with it."
I bit my lip to keep from saying "You're living an ungoddamned realistic situation."

Some schools don't have the small-town, neighbor-to-neighbor mentality that she's used to. I almost said something until her husband Xavier just asked me to walk our dogs together.

"She doesn't mean it Jules", he said as our dogs did their business. "She's used to being in control and having support. She's never really been in an out-of-control brawl like you or I have. Don't worry."

I came in to write my feelings, and to contemplate that my application for student teaching is at the local horse-shit university, awaiting my introduction or my rejection.

I came into teaching for two reasons:

- I failed as an artist & writer.
- I need money.

Now I am beginning to rethink the idea of money and teaching.

Maybe it's time to leave Texas for good. One major bonfire ... a few presents and some bar-be-que made of my old journals and sketchpads and art, and WHOOSH! A phoenix rises anew.
I have included the idea of a song called "To Sir, With Love" about a man who takes a teaching job waiting for a chance to be an engineer/architect in the UK and works with kids in a slum bettering them by showing them a positive image and role model. Sadly, that's a media insincerity that is best left for the silver screen or Disney to handle.
Those days are gone gentle friend ... and I don't think I should be a part of teaching now.

That's my gripe for today.

Thank you for listening ... love you.

Julian

-------Lulu - To Sir With Love Lyrics -------

Those schoolgirl days, of telling tales and biting nails are gone,
But in my mind,I know they will still live on and on,
But how do you thank someone, who has taken you from crayons to perfume?
It isn't easy, but I'll try,
If you wanted the sky I would write across the sky in letters,
That would soar a thousand feet high,
To Sir, with Love

The time has come,
For closing books and long last looks must end,
And as I leave,
I know that I am leaving my best friend,
A friend who taught me right from wrong,
And weak from strong,
That's a lot to learn,
What, what can I give you in return?
If you wanted the moon I would try to make a start,
But I, would rather you let me give my heart,
To Sir, with Love

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