Problematic

I hate my life, and I truly don't know why I don't burst into flames and save all the world all my bullshit and melancholy.

Right now the following has occurred:

• I have a dented rim leading me to a flat tire.  Thus I need to scramble for a ride to work at 640am, and to get one home in the middle of the afternoon at 3pm.
  
• Sallie Mae is hounding me for money I can't get them in any way at my current lifestyle as a substitute teacher.
  
• I am overweight, and unhappy with myself.
  
• My students get another change, and I am now teaching remedial lessons to kids with attention-span problems or who are apathetic as 6th graders.
  
• I am broke, and I didn't even get a chance to work on any Valentine's day projects.
  
• And to top it off, talking to my mother this evening I learned she has a tumor, and will be undergoing a CAT scan to determine its' location and severity.

I am staying calm.  I won't cry, as my mother would be disappointed in me if I did so, and I won't be telling anyone on my 'vanilla' Facebook page about my woes.  I'll post images there of my lies and what isn't happening, as I really don't give an honet-to-God flying shit about those mementoes of my past-life.

It wasn't great, and I don't care to relive the glory days.

Fuck that.  All that's over.  I didn't have them.  I lead a mediocre life, giving all I could and not getting but for a few times and people who honestly know how precious they are to me because I tell them.

I'm trying not to think.

Just insert grades, get ready for tomorrow and see about calling in a few favors.

Move on, don't lose my head.

Take care & enjoy your holiday everyone.

Blessings,

afare24get

Wild Turkey blogging

It's a little before 6pm and I am having a little Wild Turkey bourbon over ice (sacrelige, I know!) before feeding my dogs and grabbing some take-out.

I have been taken over the barrel, doing more grades and trying to tie all loose ends for the disappearing teacher. Personally I'm amazed he's not fired since Texas is not a union state, but maybe it comes down to his age or his sickness/disabilites.

Far as I know he's gonna keep drawing $3700 - $4200 per month, and maybe 65% of that if/when he retires. I am pulling in $950 a month, maybe $1100 if I can work ALL four weeks and all that ends in May.

So what can I do?

Have another sip & keep ducking my student loans just a little longer.

~lol!~

Stomach grumbling, and I know the dogs are hungry so I'm logging off. Thanks for the comments on my poem.

Sorry Valentine's Day was a bust.

Love you all.

~ j ~

Addendum:

Thank you all for your comments.  Don't worry, my pups only had to wait a few minutes, I promise.  As soon as I come home they go do (ahem!) their 'business' to alleviate their bladders first.  And of course, to stretch their legs and bark at strays or squirrels or whatever's about; then they get to eat.  Usually that takes 10 minutes so I call them back from barking-time and they eat, then I cook something for myself and eat too.

I Have Nothing by Whitney Houston

Dipping

According to the weather service, there is going to be a major dip in temperatures here in (Central) Texas in the next few days.  Bring in your plants, wrap your pipes and stay warm.

Take care & much love.

Meet Me on Monday

Questions:

1. What do you put on your hot dog?

Everything! Chili, cheese, relish, mustard. onions, and I am dying to visit other parts of the US where dogs are rippers, or have a culinary standard such as either being served on benches or with a 10 oz. Coke in a glass bottle.

2. Do you play Sudoku?

Nope. If anything I run to Scrabble.

3. What is your favorite vegetable?

Brocolli, or I can run to spinach easily. ~licking my lips~

4. Do you color your hair?

Nope, but I have done a blog about my impending grey hairs in the last few years so I'll try finding a link later to show you the wisp I fear.

 By the way here's the link to my graying hair in case you wondered.  There's also a cartoon attached that's another blog entirely.


5. What is your favorite brand of clothing?

Eddie Bauer, although Old Navy does have my geeky cartoon superheroes.  And Wranglers jeans, as they can actually fit my chubby ass comfortably

.

 

Thanks for listening & take care everyone.

Back to Being Busy

Well, as I was working on designs and thinking about what is to come next I suddenly found myself inundated with assignments. In fact, I went back to the school of Hottentots I worked with last year before the Christmas holidays.

So it's 6th grade again, 5 days a week, 7:15am to 3:00pm, and this includes grading papers, watching for anything else, meeting with parents, and I won't make more than I did last year, which (according to my W-2) was a total of $8400 and some change. I may do a little better this year, and I may make some cash under-the-table, trying to do some commissioned art, as my own desires don't make money ... yet.

I am going to be posting a few things on the next blog so you can see something wonderful, fanciful or warm and expressive.

I posted the above song for a dear friend of mine who needs to take in the fact that she is a jewel, not to be possessed, but to adorn the heart of someone deserving of her amazingness.

If you don't see much I haven't disappeared, I am just busy.  I do promise this won't keep me from being a better writer or artist, just a busier one.

Take care & much love,

~ j ~

Little River Band - Lonesome Loser

LITTLE RIVER BAND ~ "Lonesome Loser"

Have you heard about the lonesome loser

Beaten by the queen of hearts every time

Have you heard about the lonesome loser

He's a loser, but he still keeps on tryin'

Oooooooh-hooooooo-hooooooo

Oooooooh-ooooooh-hoooooooo

Sit down, take a look at yourself

Don't you want to be somebody

Someday somebody's gonna see inside

You have to face up, you can't run and hide

Have you heard about the lonesome loser

Beaten by the queen of hearts every time

Have you heard about the lonesome loser

He's a loser, but he still keeps on tryin'

Unlucky in love

Least that's what they say

He lost his head

And he gambled his heart away

He still keeps searching

Though there's nothing left

Staked his heart and lost

Now he has to pay the cost

Have you heard about the lonesome loser

Beaten by the queen of hearts every time

Have you heard about the lonesome loser

He's a loser, but he still keeps on tryin'

"It's okay", he smiles and says

Though this loneliness is driving him crazy

He don't show what goes on in his head

But if you watch very close you'll see it all

[Instrumental Interlude]

Sit down, take a look at yourself

Don't you want to be somebody

Someday somebody's gonna see inside

You have to face up, you can't run and hide

Have you heard about the lonesome loser

Beaten by the queen of hearts every time

Have you heard about the lonesome loser

He's a loser, but he still keeps on tryin'

Have you heard about the lonesome loser

Have you heard about the lonesome loser

Have you heard about the lonesome loser

Now tell me have you heard about the lonesome loser

http://www.oldielyrics.com/lyrics/little_river_band/lonesome_loser.html

****

Just a little something I crossed after seeing "The Other Guys", which had a scene in Bed, Bath & Beyond, which was one of my stories last year.

I am working on new stories, new art and hopefully posting more goodies at my other blog next door.

Gotta keep trying.

Take care.