Today, dear readers, I wrote something. I wrote at least 450 - 550 words for a project I've procrastinated on since earlier this summer. Someone trusted me, and I poked them in the eye with my laziness and conceit, and I am trying to make amends, finishing what I've started.
Gotta pull my head outta my ass!
Period.
Part of my creativity has been the ego-kisses, the little pats on the back, the acknowledgments that I know what the hell I am doing with words and my imagination. For sometime I thought that was gone, and I have been on my own self-pitying banquet.
I am still trying very hard to make my dreams occur, to arise and to flourish. But I keep backsliding into the need to hear "You're so damned good Julian" and all the other nonsense which is now holding me back. There are some things I have to accept, some eventualities, and be done.
Move on - fuck off. Come closer again and feel what was once in my heart. I have to keep saying it, because if I don't I'll fall back into my old traps and just ignore the request and promises I made to those loyal to me.
Life isn't gonna change without a little more pain, and life isn't gonna get better without the effort.
So here comes a little more effort.
I was reading a blog and found this song; it made me smile, and I hope it does the same for you.
Lucky Man Lyrics
Artist(Band):The Verve
Happiness
More or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just where I am
But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?
But I'm a lucky man
With fire in my hands
Happiness
Something in my own place
I'm stood here naked
Smiling, I feel no disgrace
With who I am
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just who I am
But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?
I hope you understand
I hope you understand
Gotta love that'll never die
Happiness
More or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Happiness
Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Gotta love that'll never die
Gotta love that'll never die
No, no
I'm a lucky man
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my
Oh, my, my
Enjoy.