Dear Friends & Readers,
Just in case everyone's wondering my life fell apart recently and I am (hopefully) on the road to recovery and not heading up IH-35 to Austin to pull a Charles Whitman. (If you don't know what that means or you're not reading this from Texas then follow the link in the name.)
Now I am broke right now. I can occasionally scrape together gas money, a few canned rations (meaning any cheap food from a can or a Dollar Tree store or something similar) and am living off water and warmth from a few close friends and some nice letters via my e-mail.
Sadly, the nice letters are overwhelmed by SPAM so I am doing my best to eliminate it all and move on with life.
I was at a job fair, and tried applying for a job with 2 of the school districts. But they only had 300 positions open for the 2400 of us who came in over the 12 hour day. And that's not counting how many people showed up after filling in on-line applications and being told "We're not doing interviews here but we'll get back to your shortly."
I guess filling out the 12 page application isn't enough conviction to merit an interview.
~sigh!~
All I am living for is my dreams. All I have are my dreams, but I don't have a laptop to reproduce them for my (hopeful) publication either as e-books or to submit them to a publisher in New York.
All I can do is plod along slowly. God's not gonna drop a chunk of cash at my feet. He'll take away my joy & replace it with 'treasures for Heaven' (Meaning beggars & others looking for what little I have and no, I don't turn them away as logical as it would be to do so!) which I am not thinking about currently. I know I sound awful but I apologize as my turns and twist in life make me feel boxed in and afraid. And I HATE being afraid.
Where's my little ass-wiggling angel with a lack of morals and the looks of a porn starlet on the rise? Where's she worshiping my chubby ass aching for me just to talk dirty to her once again?
Hmm? No answer ... what else can I expect?
Next week because NONE of my applications are done I am volunteering to help at a school teaching art. Sadly, it's not in my area of certification, and I'd need another $200 just to take THAT test. And since I am not in that area I can't get hired into that job even if I promised to get certified. The school would HAVE to give it to someone else simply because he has the credentials. I'll be working at Bed, Bath & Beyond part-time, teaching for free, and holding in the stories I am dying to type out because I have no laptop.
I can't get a good job in retail because I am 42 and deserve a LOT more money than a kid in college who'll work for car payments and a chance to get laid at the Winter Prom. Me? I get to scrape by & watch the world pass away.
I'll reveal my secret soon enough dear friends & readers. Hopefully many of you won't be too disappointed.
Thank you for listening.
Blessings,
Julian
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