May the blessings of the Holiday creep over your skin with the loving touch you all richly deserve.
Always,
Julian
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
We Could All Use A Chuckle
1-The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. "Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread." "That's right." "Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake." "Well, today is his birthday."
2-A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. 'What's the matter?' she asked. 'It's my birthday!' he hollered. 'And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon there's to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco afterwards. . .' and he had to stop talking because he was crying so hard. 'But that's lovely,' said the old lady. 'Why are you crying?' 'Because I'm lost!'
3- It was Grandpa Jones' 100th birthday and he was still in perfect health. At his birthday party he was asked how he managed to live so long and stay so fit. He explained "I put my long life down to spending so much time out of doors. I've been in the open air, day after day, rain or shine, for the last 75th years." "How do you manage to keep up such a rigorous fitness regime?" we asked. "It's simple" he said. "When I married my wife 75 years ago, we both made solemn pledge on our wedding night. We agreed that whenever we ever had a fight, whoever was proved wrong would go outside and take long walk."
4- A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go. The blonde turns around and shouts, "Can't you see I'm winning!"
5- A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone. "Please state the nature of your emergency," says the operator. "Help! My house is on fire!" the blonde replies. "Okay, where do you live?" "In a house you silly billy!" the blonde replies. "No,no! How do we get there?" the operator asks fustratedly. "Duh! Big Red Truck!!"
6- A blonde goes into a Best Buy. She asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing and again the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV - it's a microwave."
7- One day a blonde, red-head, and a brunette were driving through the desert when all of a sudden their car broke down. They decided they would all walk to civilization. The red-head said, "I'm going to take water so if I get thirsty I can drink it." Then the brunette said, "I'm going to take some food so if I get hungry I can eat." And then the blonde said "I'm going to take the car door, so if I get hot, I can roll the window down!"
8- A blonde was swimming. She swam deeper and deeper until she drowned. Her husband came home and found her dead in the bathtub.
2-A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. 'What's the matter?' she asked. 'It's my birthday!' he hollered. 'And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon there's to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco afterwards. . .' and he had to stop talking because he was crying so hard. 'But that's lovely,' said the old lady. 'Why are you crying?' 'Because I'm lost!'
3- It was Grandpa Jones' 100th birthday and he was still in perfect health. At his birthday party he was asked how he managed to live so long and stay so fit. He explained "I put my long life down to spending so much time out of doors. I've been in the open air, day after day, rain or shine, for the last 75th years." "How do you manage to keep up such a rigorous fitness regime?" we asked. "It's simple" he said. "When I married my wife 75 years ago, we both made solemn pledge on our wedding night. We agreed that whenever we ever had a fight, whoever was proved wrong would go outside and take long walk."
4- A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go. The blonde turns around and shouts, "Can't you see I'm winning!"
5- A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone. "Please state the nature of your emergency," says the operator. "Help! My house is on fire!" the blonde replies. "Okay, where do you live?" "In a house you silly billy!" the blonde replies. "No,no! How do we get there?" the operator asks fustratedly. "Duh! Big Red Truck!!"
6- A blonde goes into a Best Buy. She asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing and again the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV - it's a microwave."
7- One day a blonde, red-head, and a brunette were driving through the desert when all of a sudden their car broke down. They decided they would all walk to civilization. The red-head said, "I'm going to take water so if I get thirsty I can drink it." Then the brunette said, "I'm going to take some food so if I get hungry I can eat." And then the blonde said "I'm going to take the car door, so if I get hot, I can roll the window down!"
8- A blonde was swimming. She swam deeper and deeper until she drowned. Her husband came home and found her dead in the bathtub.
New Story - Summertime Lessons
Summertime Lessons with Samantha
I'm a writer in Texas & met another writer, a gorgeous young womanwanting to publish an incest story involving a brother & sister.
After a few deliberations about the characters we agreed and beganto write outour ideas & responses via e-mails.
So, in the above link, you're able to READ our collected responses.
Needless to say for us, the story has taken on a life of its' own and we're happy this little bit of fiction is posted here forall to enjoy reading as much as we've enjoyed writing it.
Now a Disclaimer: "The story is ABSOLUTE FICTION! No resemblence toanyone we know has occurred in any way. Our characters are unique andindividual creations; they're not 'hommages' or anything so trite. Nocrimes were or are being committed in creating this work of FICTION!"
If the incestuous relationship between a teenage girl and her brother isa little off-putting, please read ANYTHING else you wish BUT THIS STORY!!
You've been warned with a big smile. Enjoy.
Blessings,
Julian (afare24get)
I'm a writer in Texas & met another writer, a gorgeous young womanwanting to publish an incest story involving a brother & sister.
After a few deliberations about the characters we agreed and beganto write outour ideas & responses via e-mails.
So, in the above link, you're able to READ our collected responses.
Needless to say for us, the story has taken on a life of its' own and we're happy this little bit of fiction is posted here forall to enjoy reading as much as we've enjoyed writing it.
Now a Disclaimer: "The story is ABSOLUTE FICTION! No resemblence toanyone we know has occurred in any way. Our characters are unique andindividual creations; they're not 'hommages' or anything so trite. Nocrimes were or are being committed in creating this work of FICTION!"
If the incestuous relationship between a teenage girl and her brother isa little off-putting, please read ANYTHING else you wish BUT THIS STORY!!
You've been warned with a big smile. Enjoy.
Blessings,
Julian (afare24get)
Angrier Than Before
I used to think I hated my life before, and now I see I hate my life even MORE! I just got a check from 2 school districts: it was less than $450 for about 9 days work!
Bullshit!
I am not earning a living, I am getting a fucking allowance.
I am not earning a living, I am getting a fucking allowance.
THIS is why they can't get quality substitute teachers: someone can pay more.
Sadly, I need the goddamned money!
I have to make a life without depending on anyone ... and I have to make my dreams come true.
People make every kind of imaginable vice about, and they make a living if not their dreams come true.
I try doing well, just enough to get by, and I am losing my shirt and my fucking mind!
My heart is breaking, and I hate my world.
I want to run, but there's nowhere to go.
I want to run, but there's nowhere to go.
I want to cry but if I do there's a sign of weakness I don't need the world to see.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Remembrance
Remembrance
In the laundromat’s din
I recall my favorite sin
sigh and fall into my trance
of my remembrance
It feels like a dream
That woman so bright
I loved her too much
I wanted that wife
But it was doomed all along
We’re too far apart
We couldn’t hope for a song
The life we’d never start
She said good-bye as I
were nothing
She’s moved on fast
Onto another fling
I don’t even ring
I don’t even write
She had a new thing
She has a new life
Does she look at her laptop
wondering about me?
Or does she make her coffee,
and love another and flee?
I hate haunting her
though I miss her so
I’m trying to be good
I’m trying to let go.
The coffee is sweet
the memory is bitter
I wish she’d find me
I’d never release her.
But that’s not my lot
I wish her the best
I hope she’s behaving
I won’t go out west
In the dark of night
loving someone else
It’s her voice I hear
as clear as a bell.
I’m always remembered,
never forgotten.
I wish she’d want me
even though I am rotten
We planned for so much
future fantasies and dreams.
All that dissipated
like coffee and creams.
I wish she’d say I love you once again
I’d accept it no matter the pain
Should she ever see this
It’s my honest truth:
I love you now, a remembrance, and an absolute.
In the laundromat’s din
I recall my favorite sin
sigh and fall into my trance
of my remembrance
It feels like a dream
That woman so bright
I loved her too much
I wanted that wife
But it was doomed all along
We’re too far apart
We couldn’t hope for a song
The life we’d never start
She said good-bye as I
were nothing
She’s moved on fast
Onto another fling
I don’t even ring
I don’t even write
She had a new thing
She has a new life
Does she look at her laptop
wondering about me?
Or does she make her coffee,
and love another and flee?
I hate haunting her
though I miss her so
I’m trying to be good
I’m trying to let go.
The coffee is sweet
the memory is bitter
I wish she’d find me
I’d never release her.
But that’s not my lot
I wish her the best
I hope she’s behaving
I won’t go out west
In the dark of night
loving someone else
It’s her voice I hear
as clear as a bell.
I’m always remembered,
never forgotten.
I wish she’d want me
even though I am rotten
We planned for so much
future fantasies and dreams.
All that dissipated
like coffee and creams.
I wish she’d say I love you once again
I’d accept it no matter the pain
Should she ever see this
It’s my honest truth:
I love you now, a remembrance, and an absolute.
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