Angrier Than Before

I used to think I hated my life before, and now I see I hate my life even MORE! I just got a check from 2 school districts: it was less than $450 for about 9 days work!

Bullshit!

I am not earning a living, I am getting a fucking allowance.

THIS is why they can't get quality substitute teachers: someone can pay more.

Sadly, I need the goddamned money!

I have to make a life without depending on anyone ... and I have to make my dreams come true.

People make every kind of imaginable vice about, and they make a living if not their dreams come true.

I try doing well, just enough to get by, and I am losing my shirt and my fucking mind!

My heart is breaking, and I hate my world.

I want to run, but there's nowhere to go.

I want to cry but if I do there's a sign of weakness I don't need the world to see.

I wish my realities would come from my dreams, but they're breaking my heart.

Someday ... right?

I'm 42, and I want to have children, and to be happy. Satisfied, with my life, my accomplishments, and with my desires not to be unfulfilled.