Forgiveness Sucks

Dear Bishop Tutu,

While I revere & respect you greatly, I saw your list and in all good conscience, I cannot attempt your forgiveness challenge.

Personally, I can't forgive those on your list since I can't forgive myself; I've been shunned and discarded, and I'm trying hard to just to forgive myself.

I pray those I've hurt have or will forgive me and i can have a day without trying to fantasizing about splitting my own wrist or eating a shotgun shell through the muzzle.

I'm angry, sad and I'm thinking about closing this blog and moving to Wordpress by invitation only.  My art angers me, my prayers are unanswered, and I am hounded by bill collectors or ignored through my new applications.

 

 Darkness consumes me and I'm fighting it, but I'm losing.  But don't worry gentle readers, I promise nothing rash.  Spite won't allow me to die.

In fact, I'm infuriated and ready to jump off and fly.

You've heard my cry, now prepare for the surprise.

Thank you for listening.