Being a Cancer

Honestly, I never thought I'd tell something this personal on-line, but I need to vent, and I don't keep a lot bottled-up when I am blogging; and aside from my journals I need to keep sane with my mediocre life.

Exhale, then write.

Right now I am in the phase of Cancer in my life, per this year, and I am trying to come to terms with my mother having it.

The doctors have given her a 85-90% clearance, and honestly, this is the first I have spoken of it outside my family.  I shan't say much more but needless to day I am thinking harder about my own life, shortcomings and sadness.

I see the cancer I've been to others, and to myself, lowering my personal esteem and drying out my dreams to fold them away in my journals.

So my mornings are sketches, trying to stay off-line, and missing a LOT of people, but hopefully repaying them with something beautiful.

I gotta keep trying, right?

My mother has always been supportive of any of my dreams no matter how odd, bizarre or where they've taken me.  In a year I need to have a prostate check, and see where I am, since there are some males with some hereditary disease which I'll need to be aware of for the future.

But the future is now isn't it?

Hopefully soon ...

Thanks for listening.