The Depravity Rainbow

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Post Christmas Madness

My holidays sucked!

I am unhappy & will elaborate later!

Julian

Friday, December 19, 2008

Today I learned that I am assigned to a local highschool for their junior level students. I shall be teaching students in preparation of the their standardized test called TAKS in March. I am a little nervous but I am excited too.

Sadly, the school I was at made the news: 'Teacher suspended for having sex with student; investigation pending & teacher suspended with pay.'

THAT'S the school I've been assigned to, and the words of my fellow playmates & loves ring in my ears:

"Julian ... don't fuck your students!"

No extra credit.

No after hours tutoring.

No spankings or anything similar.

Just teach & GET THE FUCK OUT!

And Happy Holidays!

Blessings,

Julian

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Heidi & the Guitar

Guitar Hero 01 - Heidi Klum dancing like Tom Cruise

Guitar Hero 02 - Heidi Klum losing her blouse - Yowza!!

And then there's Alf ... Hell, even I've done it.

Okay,

So I am Johnny-Come-Too-Lately perhaps but I do LOVE young women with guitars, and it doesn't have to be a real guitar. Case in point: Heidi Klum & the video game Guitar Hero. And I wanted to collect the images & thoughts here - and to show off the videos for the world to see.

Now, girls with guitars? I don't see them playing like Jewel does but just watching them draped with a Fender or a Yamaha, mmmm ... that's wonderful dear readers.

And so here's the videos with Heidi Klum, a super-model hottie:

Guitar Hero 01 - Heidi Klum dancing like Tom Cruise

Guitar Hero 02 - Heidi Klum losing her blouse - Yowza!!

And then there's Alf ... Hell, even I've done it.

Chelsea Street Pub, northeast San Antonio circa 1987 ... the guy singing in the band was asked to called me to the stage & we sang 'Old Time Rock & Roll'; later she was sleeping with (or just plain fucking) a dear friend of mine who wouldn't sleep with me ~ Ha ha ha! ~ and later wound up pregnant with his baby. It was loud and I was drunk but it was a fine birthday all things considered.

Maybe a blowjob would have helped me.

Such a shame as I had such a mad crush on her, or maybe it was her tits.

Well, I am an admitted tit-fanatic! ~weg!~

Either was it wasn't meant to be and this video just brought me a smile of those good-ol-days.

Hope everyone gets a chuckle & a smile.

Always,

Julian

A Christmas Apology

My Dear Friends,

Today I am working on Christmas cards. I was gonna try getting some home-made gifts in the mail but unfortunately I am on a more limited budget than before so this idea went to Hell.

But I want some very special people to know how much they mean to me so please expect a small something in the mail. Hopefully next year (meaning January 2009 not Christmas 2009) I shall have a little something creative for you to smile about - belated but showing you how much I love you who make my life a little better with your time, words and smiles.

Thank you for everything you do & all the good you send my way every day.

Blessings,

Julian

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

50 THINGS YOU WOULD LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhhh. I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12 You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a shit.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a fucking people person to you?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
31. Oh I get it. Like humour, but different.........
32. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.
33. Can I swap this job for what's behind door..........1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.
39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
40. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
41. Aren't you a black hole of need.
42. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
44. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.
45. If you have something to say raise your hand... then place it over your mouth.
46. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?
47. Don't let your mind wander, it's too small to be let out on its own.
48. Have a nice day, somewhere else.
49. You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.
50. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring.

Monster Inside Me

Sometimes we want to be loved and be in love, and maybe that's why I feel so horrible around the holidays. I can't but to let the bile rise inside my throat and yet ...

There's a part of me that would remind me I AM a human being, and can be better than my most base desires and my cruel intentions that I keep housed inside my black heart.

Somtimes we all feel like monsters, and sometimes inside ourselves the monster dwells.

But, some people actually love the monster inside you.

Inside me.

I recently found a journal I haven't written in since 2004. I am carrying it & locking it in my briefcase so I can have something to scribble my fears in when there's a quiet moment. I had to keep a teaching journal and to explain what occurred on a daily basis for my last education classes.

Like my experiences it's shown me I'm not crazy about being a teacher in Texas, nor about teaching to the standarized test established for the state.

Fuck that - I need to be free & joyful.

And creative ... very creative.

Okay, enough for today.

Blessings,

Julian

YOU AND ME
(Alice Cooper/Dick Wagner)
ALICE COOPER - 1977

When I got home from work
I wanna wrap myself around you
I wanna take you and squeeze you
'till the passion starts to rise.

I wanna take you to heaven
that would make my day complete
but you and me ain't movie stars
what we are is what we are
we share a bed some lovin' and t.v. yeah.

That's enough for a workin' man
what I am is what I am
and I tell you babe
well that's enough for me.

Sometimes when you're asleep and
I'm just starin' at the ceiling
I wanna reach out and touch you
but you just go on dreamin'.

If I could take you to heaven
that would make my day complete
but you and me ain't movie stars
what we are is what we are
and I tell you babe
well that's enough for me.

You and me ain't no superstars
what we are is what we are
we share a bed some popcorn and t.v. yeah.

And that's enough for a workin' man
what I am is what I am
and I tell you babe
well that's enough for me.

When I got home from work
I wanna wrap myself around you
I like to hold you and squeeze you
'till the passion starts to rise.

I wanna take you to heaven
that would make my day complete ...

(C) Ezra Music/Early Frost Music (BMI)

http://www.absolutelyrics.com/lyrics/view/alice_cooper/you_and_me/